Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML
Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML
Today, my husband asked me to meet him at 6 for our date night, but I ended up being 45 minutes late. Turns out he predicted my lateness and had booked the restaurant for 7, not 6. He knows me so well, but sometimes I hate the smug smarmy bellend. FML
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was, and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML
Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
Today, my future mother-in-law blamed me for the death of her husband because I should have taken him to the ER when she didn't feel like it. She then blamed me for her getting a new boyfriend less than two months later and making her son hate her when she insisted he call the guy "Dad". FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
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Top comments
elephantsarecute 16
It always makes me sad to see how little respect some people pay to their spouse and spouse's family.
Pleonasm 36
There's nothing else to be said here than seriously reconsider you relationship with him, if not leae him altogether. Your mother, a huge part of your childhood and life, a true bond and a shoulder to hold yourself up on, passed away. His reaction was to non-chalantly turn up late, with a spring in his step, almost relishing her death as a side-dish for his taco and fully aware of the contrast between his cheerfulness and douchebaggery, and this day of mourning. I don't think he has a shred of humanity or decency, and probably not a lot of love for you or your family for him to be able to do that. Get rid of this asshole.
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Comments (73)
mokielove 10
wow I would be mortafied. I'm so sorry that happend. your husband has no respect at all. this world now days is going to crap. how would he feel if you did that to him.
Zebediabolical 45
He must have gotten into some really good reefer.
enbliss 10
don't think getting high makes you care less about people
Zebediabolical 45
No but it can make you lose track of time and get a taco craving.
LebanonBaby 26
OMG ! :$..
mangoboy1 19
You ought to know you married him
mangoboy1 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Edit: Oh and he wasn't a good man, you ought to know you married him.
dRUMsKELETON 12
This sounds like a really horrible joke. I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope he realizes how devastating this is and becomes more supportive.
Rababco 29
@15 Yeah, it sounds like maybe he was trying to cheer her up but did a really bad job of it, unlikely but possible. You have to admit though, most people joke about how much they hate their mother-in-law. It still wasn't appropriate behavior at a funeral though. I just find it hard to imagine he'd act like this for the first time without a really good reason.
olpally 33
i would definitely consider divorcing him if i were you. That's just heartless. What a douche nozzle!
whatwhyhoo 10
Umm, he doesn't need brains, he has a big...
xcalabrese3x 6
Wow what a jerk
cupcakechick 17
you dont wann be married to someone like that OP, you can do better
cieloalicia 16
I'm sorry for your loss.
ReepingHavoc 13
his disguise is weak.