Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Trust
Today, I found out that my husband read my journal behind my back when he got mad over something I'd written in it. This is the same journal that my therapist told me to keep, to help me get past my trust issues. FML
Backstabber
Today, I found out that my husband asked out another woman on a date five days before our 11th anniversary. FML
Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
Bad omen
Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML
Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML
Please be happy
Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
The show must go on!
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
Top comments
lucasg63 2
An he's dumb enough to write that in his journal?
Nightwing98 22
What a ****-banger.
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Comments (214)
lucasg63 2
An he's dumb enough to write that in his journal?
oicu812xD 16
He's not dumb for writing it in his journal. He's dumb for doing it but not dumb for writing it. He probably never expected her to read it
Screwie 25
Wait what? Am I the only reading two founds at the beginning of the FML?
qwtf 14
Nope not just you
unknown_user5566 27
If he is idiotic enough to be late to his own wedding rehearsal because he's trying to get some last-minute tail, I'd say there are no limits on what he is dumb enough to do.
BreakingGrace 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm surprised a troll hasn't said anything along the lines of "he's dumb for having a diary. Teehee."
Alwayspullout 7
****-banger... I've never heard it referenced as that, very creative...
outoftown 27
Troll alert: He's dumb for writing it in a diary his wife could find.
Iknoweverything 29
Apparently he's dumb enough to decide to get married to someone while he's banging other people. Someone please explain this to me? If you clearly aren't a faithful person, why bother agreeing to get married in the first place? I assume that if you wanted to be a womanizing scumbag, it would be less of a headache, and less expensive if you didn't marry someone in the process? I don't get it.
unknown_user5566 27
44- For one, the sanctity of marriage is taken for granted by a lot of people. Plus I think societal pressures play into the "why" of getting married. I agree with you, though. Don't go through with marriage unless you're ready for the commitment.
cheer4everever 0
You sure he's not GAY having a journal and by mother he means neutering male mother figure?
botanistjessica 24
Since when is having a journal gay? Some of the greatest men in history have had journals. How else would we have historical accounts of things long past? Obviously this man wasn't in the "great" category, but having a journal in and of itself is not "gay".
unknown_user5566 27
63- I just reread this thread, and I'm not seeing where anyone called OP's soon-to-be ex-husband "gay" for having a journal.
botanistjessica 24
Yeah, after I posted my reply, that comment disappeared. I have no idea what happened to it, might have been deleted by the poster, which is rightful because it was stupid.
outoftown 27
#44 - To cook and clean for him, so he could spend more time being a womanizing scumbag.
JackeeDawn 9
That's why I downloaded a diary app with a password. If only bitches could see what I wrote about them in it.. Haha
Osito2011 9
I don't know why she is reading the rough draft of his sex novel. Clearly he wasn't read for her to read his master piece.
louiseth 9
It'll be the next '50 Shades of Grey'. ^
Iknoweverything 29
Kylee-It wasn't just the sanctity of marriage thing. It's also the "divorce costs lots of money" thing. Even without alimony, the process is expensive. It's well known that women tend to divorce cheating husbands. Why not save the wedding money and the divorce money, and go blow it on a stripper or something?
terrykayez 6
You are dumb for writing that though.
gardening 17
Sorry accidental thumbs down. Was aiming for the thumbs up. Now it won't swap.
Nightwing98 22
What a ****-banger.
alpaquette91 9
His wiener, pee pee, ****, dick, penis...?
JustKittyKat 24
^^^ You didn't understand the comment. They seemed to be calling him a **** banger.
Abfootball 1
^ lol
alpaquette91 9
Ugh "genius"
shellz102 12
This is why men shouldn't keep journals
syley 5
Nothing wrong with men keeping journals but you shouldn't write stuff in there that you try to keep secret unless your 100% sure it will never be found by any but you. Not condoning his actions merely pointing out his stupidity and that he should have been more careful.
AndyAutopsy 11
Why is 34 getting thumbed down? She was just explaining the comment.
AlliFaye17 3
Lol because people are stupid
Unicorntails 7
That sucks. Sorry, OP. He's not worth it!
NashyzzleTheN 10
This is totally off topic but your picture scared the living mofo out of me when I saw what was in the background.
Unicorntails 7
Harr harr, yeah. Scared me to when I first saw it xD
ragingstorm12 4
What a downright idiot. I hope you plan on dropping HIS fat ass.
BeautyMonster 17
With her name, I certainly think she is.
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah your husbands a 1) idiot for writing it down, 2) just a douche for doing it in general. Divorce is the smart idea here. If I was him I would have gotten one of those journals with the little lock on them you know just in case it ever got found.
KBeatz 5
Your name is perfect. Cheating bastards should never get a second chance, in my opinion.
rcgirl2 11
If they do it once, then they will most likely do it again.
matthew3 2
Cheaters NEVER learn.
nyf137 20
While I mostly agree with you, I have learned that the only rule in life is that there is always an exception to the rule. My dad cheated on my mom when I was like four, and they were separated for a while and my mom got really sick. They ended up getting back together and had my little brother, and got remarried my sophomore year in high school. My dad has been nothing but faithful since then. You can't expect a cheater to change, but you also can't deny a human's ability to be different than they were before
nyf137 20
Just to clarify, that's not to say I think OP should stay with her husband, who obviously didn't even feel guilty about cheating, she should definitely leave him, I was only responding to the comments about cheaters never changing and never learning to not cheat.
TheJester12 15
I like BIG BUTTS AND I CANn- sorry what?
abouttosleep 5
Do men even write journals?!
MustangGirl72 9
Apparently so considering that's what it says in the FML.
soccerguy2 11
Of course! How else would we remember all the fat booty and **** bangers?
soccerguy2 11
I should say *****, not **** bangers.
Earth_Bound 0
Just like women fart too!
mimi1095 19
Yes you asshole so sexist!!
lelo007 11
Wow, even if you were one of those women who would attempt to make the marriage work with counseling and whatnot, his choice of words would be enough to turn me off. What is he, 15? I'm sorry, OP, FYL.
s0ulslack 20
He's a man, need we say moar?
WCARlover 35
I would have to photocopy that and get some serious revenge, I'm sorry OP:(