Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML
Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML
Today, my husband asked me to meet him at 6 for our date night, but I ended up being 45 minutes late. Turns out he predicted my lateness and had booked the restaurant for 7, not 6. He knows me so well, but sometimes I hate the smug smarmy bellend. FML
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was, and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML
Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
Today, my future mother-in-law blamed me for the death of her husband because I should have taken him to the ER when she didn't feel like it. She then blamed me for her getting a new boyfriend less than two months later and making her son hate her when she insisted he call the guy "Dad". FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
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Top comments
elephantsarecute 16
It always makes me sad to see how little respect some people pay to their spouse and spouse's family.
Pleonasm 36
There's nothing else to be said here than seriously reconsider you relationship with him, if not leae him altogether. Your mother, a huge part of your childhood and life, a true bond and a shoulder to hold yourself up on, passed away. His reaction was to non-chalantly turn up late, with a spring in his step, almost relishing her death as a side-dish for his taco and fully aware of the contrast between his cheerfulness and douchebaggery, and this day of mourning. I don't think he has a shred of humanity or decency, and probably not a lot of love for you or your family for him to be able to do that. Get rid of this asshole.
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Comments (73)
BlackRogue 8
OP, you should have stuffed the frickin taco down his throat so he choked on it, and left him in his car... I'm sure everyone at the funeral would have backed you up when his body was found... the guys an asshat.
blooddeal 17
OP,You should have throat checked him for what he said and how he conducted himself.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Wow I can't even begin to describe the level of insensitivity of your husband, but on top of that he seems really really stupid. What did he expect by showing up late and in a good mood? That you’d rejoice at his cheerfulness and ask for a bite of his taco? That would make me question this relationship.
Raesin 21
'in disguise'. You never know who you marry, ever. People change when they get married, you might think you know everything about someone but you don't. My (relative's) first husband was apparently a loving, caring boyfriend - as soon as they were married he turns into a serial cheat and a wife beater. The second husband turns out to be a paedophile. Plus have you ever heard of 'once you're married the sex stops'? A lot of women withhold sex altogether because they don't need to do it anymore cause they 'caught their man'.
shieldthestral 5
Divorce him. He sounds like a douche.
rightspark 7
Hey was being honest and aren't in-laws usually pieces of crap..
BellaBelle_fml 23
Honesty in a relationship is a must. However, there are times, such as this, when you need to just keep your mouth shut and be supportive despite any negative feelings you may be harboring. He obviously despises his MIL. He may even have a good reason for that, and he is entitled to not like her. But that's where the entitlement should stop! There is absolutely no excuse for his contemptuous behavior! His 'honesty' does not excuse his complete lack of respect, and I would go as far as to say that he even lacks love, for his own wife. Also, I don't know if you're married and have in-laws or not. If you do, they must be pretty terrible for you to have such a negative attitude towards all in-laws. Not all of them are 'pieces of crap'. I do understand that there are some pretty terrible in-laws out there, but I am very blessed to have the best in-laws that I could ever have hoped for.
kate3101 15
I think it's especially sad that he couldn't set aside his feelings, whatever they might be, and support you at what must be a horrible time for you. I'm sorry for your loss, OP
The_Thinker 18
There is not enough profanity in the world to communicate what a twonk your husband is.
jtackle 2
Damn thats ****** up.
krock76 7
Dick.