Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
That joke isn't funny anymore
Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML
Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML
Smuckle time
Today, my husband asked me to meet him at 6 for our date night, but I ended up being 45 minutes late. Turns out he predicted my lateness and had booked the restaurant for 7, not 6. He knows me so well, but sometimes I hate the smug smarmy bellend. FML
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Nice to see you
Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was, and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML
Foreshadowing
Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
Family Ties
Today, my future mother-in-law blamed me for the death of her husband because I should have taken him to the ER when she didn't feel like it. She then blamed me for her getting a new boyfriend less than two months later and making her son hate her when she insisted he call the guy "Dad". FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Top comments
elephantsarecute 16
It always makes me sad to see how little respect some people pay to their spouse and spouse's family.
Pleonasm 36
There's nothing else to be said here than seriously reconsider you relationship with him, if not leae him altogether. Your mother, a huge part of your childhood and life, a true bond and a shoulder to hold yourself up on, passed away. His reaction was to non-chalantly turn up late, with a spring in his step, almost relishing her death as a side-dish for his taco and fully aware of the contrast between his cheerfulness and douchebaggery, and this day of mourning. I don't think he has a shred of humanity or decency, and probably not a lot of love for you or your family for him to be able to do that. Get rid of this asshole.
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Comments (73)
connersmom 4
I'm very sorry for ur lose keep ur head up and ditch ur husband if he can't be there for u when u are hurting he's a donkey and needs mental help bad.
elliott2 3
Was it a Doritos locos taco?
kismet_phoenix 1
I feel he couldve been more sympathetic towards how YOU feel and maybekeep the happiness down but since we dont kno what the relationship was between the in law and the husband, i cant judge. People seem to think that death excuses past behaviors...suddenly after death its all so sad. Perhaps he was just being honest about an in law that didnt treat him well, i dont know. I am sorry that he wasnt synpathetic the way u wanted though.
Wealthyparrot 9
Hey, if your family was awful to him and spent all their time questioning whether you should have married him, he has every reason to be happy. Of course, if he's going to be happy at your mothers funeral, your family was right to question.
blackwidowtaco 31
pretty sure his asshole tendencies would of showed up a lot earlier than your mother's passing. either way, sorry for your loss op!
beautiful_hope 16
Even if he didn't care for her, she was still your mother & if he cares for you at all, he would show some respect for both of you & be there for you in your time of need. That would be grounds for divorce in my book. I wouldn't stay with someone like that. I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
SamanthaThe1st 23
Jesus tapdancing Christ! I thought that was just a stereotype you heard on those stupid joke apps that you uninstalled cuz you were a few years too mature to laugh at them.
KyokoSakuraChan 15
What a scumbag. Before you divorce, ruin one of his funerals.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
"She was an in-law, honey." Yeah, HIS in-law. I hope you talked to that douche about his behavior.
hellolaina 18
I'm so sorry. I hope you're okay