Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
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Top comments
BallsMcLongcock4 8
That's an easy fix, stop having sex with him until he stops
Deservesit22 1
Just don't do it till he agrees to stop Easy answers to all FML
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Comments (87)
shibainu519 0
that movie is awesome.
TrillionHearts 0
Haha, thats weird.
Nico1929 5
An idiot who thinks they're clever
CitrusGirl 0
^ An idiot who can't tell the difference between plural and singular.
Sadochan 0
No, he can have it that that way. He's saying it's another idiot who thinks THEY ARE clever. See? Fits just as well.
seanders 10
^^ And once again, the men were right.
LouieLZ 5
He's not saying it right, though. He sucks!
mopar309 2
guys, it's "he's" as in "he is". my english teacher corrected me when using "they're" with a singular noun.
NoOneLovesYou 13
Your English teacher doesn't know a damn thing about informal English, then. Tell them to shove their degree up their ass since it hasn't taught them very much. The "official" rules of English don't always apply in modern usage. Most Americans don't know "who" from "whom" for example, and I'm sure your English teacher has ****** up more than once THEMselves while teaching.
kyarush 10
an idiot who done thinks he be clever. I b3 sm4rt!
Adamantoise 0
An English teacher isn't there to teach you informal English or slang...65, you should think things through next time before going into batshit crazy mode.
xSgtTh0masx 0
Technically it would be he's because you can not substitute a plural conjugation in a singular noun such as this one.
my_username_is 0
you be fag
daminantion 14
you are all wrong about him saying it wrong. the usage of 'they' is formal: they implies a group OR someone of high respect, taken from French grammar. example: A doctor gives you their note. all you silly folk think you know your linguistics.. leave it to Yankees to start the fight on how to speak a British language.
hthrfthrx36 0
just ask him to stop.
blocparty 0
I like!
angel2293 0
first 2 comment :)
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Moderated in 3...2...1
angel2293 0
y did dat happen ?
dirtyblond 4
that is HILARIOUS.
bthomas0319 2
Wow, I bet that can get annoying.
beautiful_brunet 3
I love the smart people that waste the first comment on something that has nothing to do with the topic of the FML
iburppeopleup 0
and the people who do the same to the second
Doortje 30
Well, did you tell him it was a turn off? If not, YDI. And if you did but continued anyway, YDI too.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Damn. I haVe never fOund such an ignoRant idiot who deCidEd that tHose lIneS Are great for sexual seriousneSS. Now put those capital letters in my message together and what have you got?
bthomas0319 2
haha, wow very clever.
devileyekill 0
Divorce over this? Makes perfect sense.
MaliciousMel 1
14 I goT tHe mEssaGe And you're coMplEtely right
ShatteredDreams8 0
divorce his ass. dumbass
MaliciousMel 1
64 you just lost
birchknollbabe32 0
it's not your problem if someones bitching at you. stick it to that mofo!!
nicholasj96 9
Lmao, took me a while .
Deservesit22 1
Just don't do it till he agrees to stop Easy answers to all FML
cutiecakes98 8
I kinda hate you
MariaHansen 0
classy