Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
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Top comments
BallsMcLongcock4 8
That's an easy fix, stop having sex with him until he stops
Deservesit22 1
Just don't do it till he agrees to stop Easy answers to all FML
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Comments (87)
NPN_Scorpio 16
Sexy time!
NPN_Scorpio 16
Wait... "Today" he decided? and "every single time" & "all the time"? Many couples don't get that much action in a week, month or even year. Get earplugs if he is still a loud Borat tomorrow.
Yarrachel 16
They all have to start with "Today," genius.
NPN_Scorpio 16
Yeah, well, the "Once upon a time" of FML. True, but they still seem pretty active.
HappyPickles 11
Two questions: Q1: you married this idiot - why? Q2: Why did you marry a 16 year-old idiot? self-inflicted: YDI
BritishHobo 0
This. Shoulda just told him to **** off as soon as he started - imitating that was barely funny back when the movie was out. Doing it five years on just reveals the fact that you married an unfunny ****.
Neighbor_Mark 0
Some people might think this is a very immature thing to do. I agree with those people, but I also find the mrssagdiyev to be immature. If she loves this guy enough to marry him, I am sure that she can put up with him for the thirty seconds that it takes for him to overwork himself and cum.
perdix 31
Tell him no more sexy time until he does like Bruno and goes in for an anal bleaching.
BadKitty13 28
ONLY IN PENNSYLVANIA.......... It's kinda like ... umm ... PAINTBALL FISHING. (There is actually a sign that does say PAINTBALL FISHING) and yes its in Pennsylvania. So there ya go !!
foreverdee 0
wow, how lame.. tell him to stfu and that he's killing your ****** ..!! >.<
chosha_fml 27
um, the solution here is pretty simple. stop the sex the first time he says it and tell him that will also happen, every time.
bahaFYL 0
that's ******* good! haha
sparty12 2
haha should have gone with "trogdor strikes again!!!". if you don't know who trogdor is google it. don't worry it's NOT nsfw...