Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
Today, I was walking through Target when I was pulled aside by a very attractive girl who began kissing me. She stopped, because I wasn't who she thought I was. Disappointed, I turned around to see her very angry, very large boyfriend behind me. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML
Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML
Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_GoodGuy 11
You liked it didn't you, don't lie ;)
emeraldisle 30
Looks like you've got a secret admirer.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
_GoodGuy 11
You liked it didn't you, don't lie ;)
wldd0g 9
Of course they liked it. They liked it so much they posted it on FML, in hopes to find out who it really is, and to sexually ravage them. Isn't that why people do stuff like that?
NurseJonathan 9
I would've. Who doesn't get aroused by the mascot? That person in the heavy...sweaty...suit... I should be put down.
fityfo54 8
Ya know sometimes it's better to say hey I could be that literal asshole or I can thumbs up for a good sense of humor
NurseJonathan 9
87- What?
stevenJB 25
.
eapoc 6
I think YOU were in the suit!
spazz666 18
132- I think YOU we're in the suit and are blaming other people cause you don't want to be ravaged sexually. Don't hide it, 132. Don't hide it.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Ha! That's actually pretty funny
HouseElf 13
I read this comment in Jake the Dog's voice, but got confused when I saw your username.
ArielTheMermaid 17
34 - usually when I read FMLs I just blow more air out of my nose than usual. I actually laughed at this one
skyttlz 32
It made me laugh too. I don't think it's a huge deal lol.
McAninch35 9
I farted a lot, does that count
ashcin 7
That's hilarious!!!
DogsPaw 16
Someone went to the top shelf for their words, (Comedian Reference)
shutup15 5
Wow #36 the comment was a minute after when it was posted. #2 probably put it on while #3 was writing it. Use logic idiot.
knaevery 17
One can only insult you if they are in a coma?
kianaaa32 17
He's missing a coma? I think you mean a comma.
shutup15 5
#110 thanks but I'm not a guy. Person I was talking to before you are an idiot you spelled comma wrong, idiot. I love how stupid all your comments and remarks are, you should really try comments that are remotely funny.
RoboCunnilingus 23
It's okay, #77, I got the reference.
shutup15 5
Says the one who insulted the girl who made the comment... you are a hypocrite.
shutup15 5
Well it wasn't really funny, it'd be more insulting. I'd love to see the insecure person inside of you.
shutup15 5
Here's the thing they are American. Americans are hated everywhere, even in America... I'm pretty sure you are insecure, unless you are alien.
clemagh 7
I agree
princess09 3
And then they? Sorry trying to understand why this is an FML.
emeraldisle 30
Looks like you've got a secret admirer.
Welshite 40
I really want to know what the mascot was.
theawkwardlife 21
10 bucks says it was one of op's professors.
jkmartinjk 16
I think #6 is refering to what the mascot costume was...
Shenanigans9 8
Maybe their mascot is a professor?
LordoftheOcelots 10
The perfect symbol to a university
journeytotheend 16
Could easily ask student association who all wears the mascot!
mattlw 25
No need to #53. It was me.
NurseJonathan 9
If only this were a highschool mascot rather than a university mascot. I would've suspected it was a Pedobear for mascot.
coolboy675 16
Oh Mickey, you're so fine~
twistacular_ 3
It wants the D.
thesubconscious 9
Let's not jump to conclusions about the gender here...
eddeeezzyy 19
...or P...
theawkwardlife 21
94, let us know when you figure it out.
theawkwardlife 21
Are you dumb? The P stands for photometer, which op wants so he/she can measure the intensity of light. How do you not know this?
NurseJonathan 9
Let's just all say it wants some ass. I do not care who or what you are. We all want some ass.
RoboCunnilingus 23
#8 It wants the Defense.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
How do you know not know what P stands for? P stands for platypus-duh.
eddeeezzyy 19
I meant P as in pussy. Instead of "oh he/she wants the D", it would be "oh he/she wants the P". You guys have never heard of that one before?
Wonderful_0 19
#131 I'm pretty sure you mean the V... :/
McNikk 15
Whoever it was was probably just trying to be funny. I wouldn't be to stressed out over it.
lonewolf621 17
What did they say?
jkmartinjk 16
OP's name seductively...
rivaraven 35
"As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively." Maybe try reading?
ilovedinosawers 17
OP's name. Seductively.