Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML
Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML
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Top comments
Awahso 25
Your husband is an idiot. He deserves a ticket. It does suck that you have to pay for it though.
Goldenchest 14
What does 75 in your mom even mean..?
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Comments (205)
Awahso 25
Your husband is an idiot. He deserves a ticket. It does suck that you have to pay for it though.
biggestfan23 11
I wanna know who says fuzzball casually like that
Nutty4Muffs 3
Didn't seem too casual of a situation to me, 4.
ImaginaryFoe 1
She doesn't *have* to. He's an adult. If he can't or won't pay, he will be responsible for the consequences. OP, if your husband resents being called a freeloader, here's the perfect time to let him take care of his own expenses.
speshlk37 13
Ticket's probably cheaper than bail, no?
_ebbonyy 11
sure, 56, but how is that relevant here exactly?
speshlk37 13
Hmm. Upon coming back and re-reading it...I just don't know.
CadillacPimpen 6
88 well if the husband neglects to pay the ticket he could get a warrant, go to jail where the wife would have to pay a bail bond, ect. But he sounds ignorant nun the less.
music_woman1 11
He should've calmed down before he spoke, look at what anger does to hou
music_woman1 11
*you
xd3box 4
88- I think 56 meant if he didn't pay the ticket he could be jailed, and bail would be more than paying the ticket.
ImaginaryFoe 1
But none of those expenses would come under the wife's name. If he can't pull his shit together to pay the ticket or at leaat apologise to his wife and ask her kindly to pay, he will get the fines or license susoension or whatever happens. The court won't look for her to pay anything. Personally, I'd leave him in jail and let him freeload off the government for a while before I paid a cent of bail money.
nado13579 12
I know what a 69 is, but 75 is new to me. *trying to imagine what the hell a 75 would be*
Jonkbaby 23
dump his ass
untamed112 0
He might me ummm wellll ****** retarded
ImaginaryFoe 1
I don't know all the levels of mental retardation but if he can legally drive I am certain he us capable of holding some type of job.
VoteForTaco 8
Ahahahahahah your husband is hilarious!
SolanumX 6
You'd be surprised how many severely retarded kids at my school wound up driving. The govt will give them licenses without a second thought. Part of the whole "mainstreaming" thing they try to do with those types of people. Also, as a side note: "Potato." If you get that reference then you deserve a gold star (Its got nothing to do with portal).
toastyumm 1
Is he like 6..?
Coby1996 0
True.
Valdrek 26
It does not state in the FML that the husband was the one driving the car. He would only receive the bench warrant if he was the driver. It could be that OP was hoping to pass the attitude test, but failed due to her husbands actions. Therefore she would get the warrant.
Goldenchest 14
What does 75 in your mom even mean..?
Nutty4Muffs 3
75 is the new 69.
bassmaestro 10
75mph in out?aa
ppl2ppl 4
Owwww pain :P
nofearjenshere 12
75 times in and out.
reddudeover 2
75 seconds? His new record!
copo37 7
Three inches can be hell at 75 mph!!!
CareFace 16
Nice Z #65 :) I have a slammed single turbo @ 388kw... Sitting on 18x10.5 and 18x9 xd9's :)
saksxalmo 20
*trying to picture what a 75 is supposed to look like* Wait, so is it like spooning? Only facing away from each other and the guy has a boner? Hold on, is the woman pregnant or is that supposed to be a boob? *is thoroughly confused*
Tweekz14 5
73- Make some sense if your gonna talk..
laden_swallow09 35
I think 73 is speaking in Car & Driver, but it's the most peculiar dialect.
Saryrr 3
It's funny because #75 is talking about 75.
luvscomplic8ed 6
Ahhaha just saw that too!
mowmowlife 21
He probably didn't rationalize it at the time but I would imagine ejaculation...
talal_icon 19
and #75 has 75 likes!
Rdc13 7
Aww, sorry for you.. fyl...
xavier21_fml 6
No shit Sherlock.
cosmosis 12
...shut up ********!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Simple solution: you must kill your husband.
Goldenchest 14
*husband/boyfriend does something wrong* comments: OMFG GET RID OF HIM
thatoneguy79 10
13) You are correct. Whenever someone does anything to make your life uncomfortable in the slightest, The only recourse you have or need is to remove them from your life immediately, if not sooner. It is applicable to both sexes. We are hoping to educate those young enough to be learn two very important life lessons here on FML: you are better off alone, and use proper spelling and grammar.
kissmyace25 6
lmao only if he has life insurance
rocker_chick105 31
You people understand that 6 was most likely being sarcastic, right?
auzz1_pride 9
110) No we had no idea, thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all it is much appreciated. Incase you didn't know that was sarcasm as well....
rocker_chick105 31
115- Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, huh? No need to be rude about it, I said that because everyone is/was thumbing him down.
auzz1_pride 9
We did it for the reason everyone does, he made a stupid/dumb comment or mistake. I'm not saying we all don't do it, but thats how it apparently "works" on FML.
blackbelt25 12
Can someone thumb down #115 for me? My freaking chicken fingers pressed thumbs up instead of down :/
rayofsunshine12 6
Sorry, make that 2 people. I went to thumbs down him for you, but I spaced out and pressed thumbs up instead -_-' Typical me.
muFilter 19
Can someone please thumb down 115 for me now? I thumbed them down for 171...
ninjafury101 2
As opposed to doing 76 in his mom.
auzz1_pride 9
I'm confused, what was your comment suppose to mean?
onlychildFTW 34
I'm wondering the same thing.
carmenm 6
Good puck, your husband is kind of a dick. Also dont see why you have to pay it
garebear13 4
Puck?! Are we playing hockey now? :D
ergo_fml 13
She was driving.
carmenm 6
Pick *
igive 29
she shouldn't have to pay, but since she did he owes her more than just a sandwich....
Flora_fml 6
The argument was over his "free loading" so I take it she pays for everything. "money - by me"- leave this sorry ass prick and don't pay for the ticket. Kick his loser ass out of your house. It will suck in the short term but your life will be better for it.
anonymous100000 17
don't pay his tickets. make him and hide your cards/cash and let him go to jail for not paying his own damn tickets
NickyK 25
Fuzzball. That's a new one.
malters 9
Actually it's a bit of an old one
other121 2
You and that bitch in the pic are UGLY as F**k Haha
jenn2312 5
Wow... You're a dick they're like ten..
hinchkongfang 0
Laugh it up, fuzzball...
laden_swallow09 35
…You didn't see us alone in the south passage. She expressed her true feelings for me."
hinchkongfang 0
Jumped up, scruffy looking nerf herder!!!
Omit 4
Haha what a dick
perdix 31
You're a doormat -- you deserve to be walked on. Now, grow a spine and kick that low-life parasite to the curb. I can't promise that you could do any better than this loser, but you certainly are better off alone than with this shiftless, entitled leech sucking you dry!
MedKits 9
Damn. And I thought DocBastard was good at reaming.
isaiaah 6
Woah a little far? Lol
DaniPandi 22
Heh. Fuzzball.