Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML
Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML
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Top comments
Awahso 25
Your husband is an idiot. He deserves a ticket. It does suck that you have to pay for it though.
Goldenchest 14
What does 75 in your mom even mean..?
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Comments (205)
kissmyace25 6
LMAO awesome husband thats not a FML thats a ROFLMFAO comment
DiamondSkate 4
He's not an idiot, he's hilarious lol
laden_swallow09 35
No, he's an idiot. You reveal some of that yourself when you enable someone like OP's husband.
mannguy 3
Haha that's awesome!
iHateHippiesToo 6
Cops should be able to hit people for things like this.
matt98_fml 13
No they shouldn't! Some cops could abuse their power.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Cops already hit People for things like this...
lessthan0_fml 6
Good.
JBMcC 7
You know how to pick them...
Zacham 5
do you guys keep separate finances even while married? just a bad way of handling money.
tbazenith 1
I was going to agree with you. Since you are married shouldn't you both share the burden of finances? Just seems logical to me
thatoneguy79 10
It could be that OP works while Mr. OP does not, therefore OP would feel as though she is supporting him because he does not contribute to the household income. Furthermore, if Mr. OP does not help out with housework and prefers to simply spend the money on non-neccesities, this could further encourage OP's feeling of supporting his arse, even with a joint bank account. Having one spouse spend without regard for bills and neccesities while the other works is also a bad way to handle finances.
reddudeover 2
That's officer fuzzball to you mr. sassy pants.
PistolWhiper93 0
Fuzzball?! Boy, your lucky I am in a good mood today or I would throw your but in jail!
cookeemonster 7
75 thrusts per minute. *pelvis thrust* Oww!
Reality_bites 14
OP I dont think you get it. Anyone who is happy to leach off you for long periods of time, which seems to be indicated by your "constant freeloading" statement does NOT respect you. And will not change until you kick his arse to the curb. Its fine for one partner to support the other for a little bit while they get back on their feet after say a job loss, its completely another when a partner is constantly freeloading off the other. Know the difference, make the douch pay for his own speeding ticket and kick him out until he can show you the respect and love you deserve.