Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML
Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Awahso 25
Your husband is an idiot. He deserves a ticket. It does suck that you have to pay for it though.
Goldenchest 14
What does 75 in your mom even mean..?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (205)
kellyrebecca92 0
She was going to get a ticket anyway. She was going 20 mph over the speed limit.
Krulin 8
Read the FML. The cop was talking to the husband, meaning he was the one who was driving.
laden_swallow09 35
Just putting it out there: "with yo mama" jokes are old news; immature; not funny, clever, or even insulting. You're only insulting your own intelligence when you can't think of anything else to use in an argument, valid or otherwise. Get some new material.
KeyLoLoKye 0
That YOU have to pay for? That's an "Oh no no" on my "Oh no no list".
Rabidkid 14
at-least he pulled over.
BrotherTheo 31
Two Words: Anger Managment
twytched87 2
That hilariously awesome!!
Sir_drink_alot 20
Really ppl, we are not given enough info to judge the husband so harshly, maybe they both work but since they have a joint bank account she thinks that she is paying, maybe he works and she doesn't, she still thinks of it as her money, or maybe he is a stay at home dad, regardless they would have got a fine, because they were clearly breaking the law
Quikraptor 8
If you actually read the FML, you'd notice the OP said he's a freeloader. There's not much else to understand here. What that means is she works, he doesn't. It's her money not his. And clearly he's not a stay at home dad, otherwise he'd be doing something productive. Husband is a moron.
Sir_drink_alot 20
Husbands used to call stay at home mums freeloaders, maybe he is a stay at home dad and she does not regard raising kids as being 'work' anyway I think I am looking too deeply into an FML anyway :)
AmbrosiaWriter 17
I think you're trying to cover yourself by saying that Husbands used to consider stay-at-home moms to be freeloaders. Sure, I bet some husbands did (and I've giving a huge benefit of the doubt on that one), but in no way were they ever the vast majority of dads/husbands.
jbear380 0
I agree, Husband is an idiot. Now, if he had said he did 77 inside the Officer's mom, it would have made more sense. 77 is like 69 only you get 8 (ate) more.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Chris Rock's "How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked By the Police" should be mandatory viewing for this guy.
MsAnnabelle 0
Sounds like you married a douche, OP. My condolences.