Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, cable was installed at my house and the cable guy smelled like some horrid mix of cabbage and cheese. I'm pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. I've sprayed air freshener, lit candles, and opened windows despite the cold outside. I can't get rid of the smell. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nO__namE 0
I can understand some other stuff, but how the hell did they deserve this?
Socrates_fml 0
you puke on it, you buy it?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
blehargh 0
Well that sucks, but you didn't have to pay for anything? Sorry, but you seem to kind of irresponsible, if you are already three months pregnant you should KNOW not to put yourself in a situation like that.
Will09 0
Home SWEET Home!
klutzywriter 0
more like f the life of whoever is trying to sell that house
0ut0fMyM1nd 0
I do have to agree with if you puke on it, you buy it.
fantome_fml 0
vt_mruhlin True, but she might have thought that she had her nausea under control until she was overcome with the flowery scent of the house. I'm not even pregnant and powerful smells "pleasant" or not can make me feel ill.
Abirys 0
LOL
F_My_Wife 2
You vomit on it, you buy it. Then clean the vomit.
gizmo_987 0
I don't understand why you didn't just get out of the house as soon as you smelled the scent.
plaidrabbit 0
I love how #31, who made that absolutely *genius* comment about morning sickness only happening upon waking up, is nicknamed dr_house_MD. Maybe go back to med school, House.
Stay_beautiful 0
#31 is a complete ******* idiot. Do some ******* research before you make such a ridiculous comment that makes you look like a total ass. Are you maybe in denial that just because you're throwing up at night you don't think you're pregnant? I too, find it ironic that your ID is dr.house and you don't even know the basics of pregnancy.