Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, at 32 weeks pregnant, I found my boyfriend passed out face down in his own vomit. Not only does our freshly-painted game room now smell like a dirty bar, but he also let our 2 strictly indoor cats outside. They have yet to return. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
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Top comments
zp5 4
boyfriend: "hey guys, i farted and it smelled so bad that my girlfriend threw up all over the coffee table. LOL!" his friends: "whoooa that is so cool." "that is awesome." "hilarious." "i wish my farts smelled that bad!"
TryptamineDreame 0
You should give him one of your rotten pregnancy farts right in his mouth while he's sleeping. He probably wouldn't be laughing then.
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Comments (221)
RawrBunneh 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ahahaha, who cares, all men are like this. ;)
thew_fml 14
no, not all men are like that. only the assholes
Invierno 10
Agreed. Damn, what an asshole! Some concerned boyfriend she has.
GaryBusey1121 0
I am so envious of his flatulence. That truly takes skill and determination.
Hughmadd 0
@1, I'm getting so sick of women on this site who supposedly "know" men. Literally, on every single entry that involves a husband/boyfriend, there are over 5,000 smart-ass comments saying: "Men care about X more than Y" "Don't expect men to care about X" "Luckily, I have a boyfriend, so I understand men :)" Because every single male is going to be exactly identical, right? How would you feel if a thousand guys did the same thing for whenever a bitchy girl posted an FML about how her boyfriend told a joke that she didn't like, or gave her a compliment that wasn't 150% perfect? And believe me, there are tons, and TONS on FMLs about those.
rallets 23
#17 is now the spokesman for Men : the new political party sweeping the nation if i were gay, id suck your dick
GaryBusey1121 0
that's something that u just don't say. Major Man Foul. WTF is wrong with u?
rallets 23
nothing.. ..guess you didnt notice the word "if" foul overturned
GaryBusey1121 0
That foul is irreversible & not challengeable If we were playing football you would volunteer to be the center I'm sure.
rallets 23
ahh too late, i already canceled it good try tho although im not sure what you meant by that :/
sourgirl101 29
Rallets is a huge flirt. No gay vibes at all. Don't worry Gary, he's not checking you out in your speedo.
ohthebloodygore 16
17, although I love what you said... we have many men who make comments like hers but toward a girl.
fearfulsymmetry 1
Thank you #17 :)
rallets 23
lmfao well...thanx? haha oh, so hes wearing a speedo is he? ;) haha jk
ilovemydoodle123 0
I know I might sound stupid, but way does ftw mean?
DeathShad0 1
I agree with #17.
KingDingALing 9
He's wearing a speedo? Oh shit! Let me se-- ****! You guys lied to me! I didn't look...I swear... *peeks to look for the picture* Shit...
GaryBusey1121 0
I'm wearing my thong backwards, u know that
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
hmmm, #53... just taking a stab, but I would guess FTW = **** The World
Primus_fml 0
Actually 83, it means Forget That Waffle.
kcTornado 0
lmfao! what about found the weiner!
BrazilianRa1n 0
for the win of f the world. depends on the situation
thechief50 0
WTF nah I ain't XP
boyguydudemalema 0
your gay kevin admit it !!!! ftw = future time warp. or failed to win. depending on the situation
EpicPear 0
FTW = **** That Wiener DTF = Don't Talk Fast
Malfunktyn24 0
Aaaah, beat me to it
coolsteve 0
FTW= fat tiny willy
stephanie0613 0
yayy ! I'm not banned anymore :D but anyways I agree with 17 in a way. I just don't think the boyfriend knew it was going to smell so bad! you have to admit it was kind of funny. Idk my boyfriend is like that and I think it's hilarious.
Mariomagic22 2
it means for the love or for the win
beeship321 5
Well for 1. a lot of men do say that about girl fmls. and second just because you have a boyfriend that doesn't make you an expert on men. that's like saying you watch csi therefore you are qualified to be an actual investigator. =No
jpest17 5
not I!
clothesoptional 0
Agreed 17...& that guy may be an ass, I dunno, but I doubt he did it intentionally to make her puke. His reaction is funny, though :) hehe
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
141, your second "argument" was 17's whole point. -.-
C6Racer 0
Men aren't like that. Just boys.
Suds29990 0
I WATCH HOUSE!!!! Therefore i r medical diagnostician =)
Icyyy 0
i would murder him gruesomely and immediately.
suppepz 0
dump him he just farted right next to you and then when you through up he didn't do anything dump his fat ass
lizabyrd 0
your right.
Jr Malvitz 15
you must have a bad taste if men if you think they are all like that
mintcar 10
Haha, gross.
nakidna 0
your boyfriend is a dumbass
hobosareawesome 0
Lol
Invierno 10
I hope he at least cleaned it up for you, though by the sounds of it, he can't be the most mature or helpful boyfriend.
yaysmile 0
Wow, i wonder what he going to be teaching that kid.
yaysmile 0
he's*
zp5 4
boyfriend: "hey guys, i farted and it smelled so bad that my girlfriend threw up all over the coffee table. LOL!" his friends: "whoooa that is so cool." "that is awesome." "hilarious." "i wish my farts smelled that bad!"
EmDizzle2007 28
to be fair, she had morning sickness. the fart might not have been that bad.
TryptamineDreame 0
You should give him one of your rotten pregnancy farts right in his mouth while he's sleeping. He probably wouldn't be laughing then.
demarcusT 0
she might accidentally take a dump on his face, and he'll wake up and beat her till she's bleeding
KingDingALing 9
Hmm...that sounds...familiar..
chasin_butterfli 0
Girl, just wait until after the baby is born. Make sure he stays at the hospital with you because you'll have gas that will singe his eyebrows.
monkeywrench1 10
I just threw up in my mouth.
Jessepowers 9
or shit in his mouth lol that would be epic
bethan1 4
This is a very proud moment for him you just don't understand because you are a girl and girls don't fart.
mattman1994 0
finally, someone who gets it
PsychoSally21 0
hey #13 thats a bunch of bull shit..i fu think girls don't fart that just means ur hanging out with the snotty preppy bitches that think normal body functions is gross.. in other words ur a dumbass
ohthebloodygore 16
64, you're an idiot. Sarcasm.
Fortuitous 0
Bloody Gore, I question the validity of your statement. o.O
FLCL4711Fox 0
^yes
VickyG17 4
#64 the girl was being sarcastic..and in that case YOU are THE dumbass, dumbass!
Angelice_fml 0
#13, YOU'RE a girl. -___-