Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML
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Top comments
Aspen_Grace33 27
You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!
monstermatt001 13
He's going to have a "hard time" with that! ;)
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Comments (139)
olpally 33
No, just no. Military school for him! lol.
tomwantssnow 14
Yeah, let's ruin the kid's childhood for being honest!
allie2590 31
Dude seriously? His honesty is like the only good thing in this situation.
RedPillSucks 33
How does military school ruin your life?
naajster 14
Sounds like your kid has a plan!
schhichick 14
Ursula Buffay did not go to military school
kaylamarriee 10
#9 I went to military school, didn't ruin my life at all.
J_Kertz 14
#9 I don't even know if you'd call that honesty... The kid is 10. That's probably just something he heard somewhere.
fsomelife 26
Yup, zombify him for being clueless at a clueless age.
TheLostLegend 2
...It'll probably get pretty STICKY.
mallu86 9
I'm not sure about you being a legend. But you sure are lost #85.
myFAILEDLIFE990 6
I didnt see it CUMMING in his moms face
Since1998 20
#113... what? That was just disgusting.
Aspen_Grace33 27
You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!
Journiexo 18
At least the kid has dreams!
Soviet_American 29
Yeah that's step 1! Set a goal!
businessleader_fml 5
Wise choice! Such a stable business...
veracruzana922 6
Hahaha 69 likes on your comment #3
whenitdidhappen 14
yeah,really wet ones
whenitdidhappen 14
I'm sorry OP. I was kidding and didn't find it funny a while after,FYL.
monstermatt001 13
He's going to have a "hard time" with that! ;)
monstermatt001 13
Hehe
monstermatt001 13
Hehe
xSPEECHLESS 10
He probably gonna have some "stiff" competition
chrissapp 18
It's the best way to make everyone happy.
Wingman527 22
That kid is going places in life
schhichick 14
Just like Ursula Buffay
trex454 21
37 this is at least the third reference I have seen you make to friends. its getting weird now please stop.
najraa 19
not college, but places !
fsomelife 26
"It's hawd to stawp."
NopeFuckThat 7
Wet places
drica_17 11
Well, at least he's got aspirations....
MortenM 17
Yea, let's he'll work hard at it
allie2590 31
Well! Time to find out who taught him that one.
mysadlyfe 9
tell him hes gonna have to RAISE his expectations
naajster 14
... but it's a LONG shot
Liamj774 36
... And he's probably going to have a HARD time
A7XCamaro 19
Erection
starcaller17 16
#111, thanks for your contribution.
A7XCamaro 19
You're very welcome. It seemed like it needed to be done
Steve95401 49
He might not be up for the job.