Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML
Today, I was washing a sink full of lettuce that I'd grown, which had been in the hot sun. My husband was preparing fish for dinner and took all the juices that had drained off the raw fish, reached over my shoulder, and dumped the juice on my lettuce. I asked if that was the fish juice. He said no. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML
Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
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Top comments
spazmattic 0
When wife gives you lemons...
Gallaghers 0
She deserved it, if they just had a argument, he's obviously going to still sore about something, maybe because he has a lazy wife who demands that he cut her vegetables for her eyes (which I'm pretty sure don't do anything). Shes not worrying about how stressed or how he is after the fight, stuck up bitch
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Comments (268)
nenners 0
what a lemonhead
likeyourelooking 6
ydi for asking him to do something nice for your prissy ass after an argument. cucumbers to help you relax? you sound like the exact kinda person I would never want to be around.
omgstoparguing 10
Adults argue over important issues. Doesn't mean you don't love the other person, so why wouldn't you still support each other? It doesn't mean you have to be childish and physically try to hurt each other.
babyjm 0
hahahaha!!!! XD sucks for you
jrmetz 0
why the hell did you ask him to cut cucumbers for YOUR eyes?? -- he likely wasn't exactly calmed down and would have preferred to have his own 'relaxing' time-- no it wasn't very 'mature' of him to put lemons on your eyes but on the same token it wasn't very thoughtful of you to assume he would want to do anything for you at that moment. next time give him his space that he needs as much as you do and cut your own damn cucumbers.
Trent_21 6
bf-1. you-0
darkmis1 18
Husband
darkmis1 18
Why didn't you just get the cucumbers? It's not that hard.
doubleodoggy 0
looks like you've got a bad romance/marriage. tp his car
doubleodoggy 0
looks like you've got a bad romance/marriage. tp his car
mikagesouji 0
Why couldn't you cut them yourself? Someone is lazy.
animejen1988 9
What if OP's husband asked her if there was anything he could do for her once the argument was over? Maybe he started it and was acting like he was going to make it up to her? Or maybe OP started it, they had a healthy argument that OP thought was over, and the husband asked her if he could do anything for her? Think through possibilities before automatically labeling it as YDI. Obviously I'm not saying that any of these are the case. Everyone else could be right on here. Just saying that we're not given enough space on here to properly explain everything.