Anonymous
Australia
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Mike
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Starving Ultimatum
United States
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
paywithpoop
United States
Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML
Anonymous
Woodland, United States
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
xobeachbabi428ox
United States
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
BedazzledAlpaca
Englewood, United States
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
why me
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
XYZee
Rockmart, United States
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Den Dungen, Netherlands
Where am I?
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Username
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
The Voice
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk, saying, "Shut the fuck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
Top comments
albinorhino 0
well that shit musta been worth it huh...
Kervik 0
"I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD." Yup, the whole internet wanted to hear that.
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Comments (104)
dudette_yikes 0
Wow. First time I hear of something like that happening.
perdix 31
The joke is on the thieves. While they were stealing the worthless crap, you were sitting on pure gold! At least you protected the toilet from getting pinched. You DO have a pot to piss in.
Witchcraft_fml 5
While the OP was taking a crap, the burglar was taking his crap. Oh, the irony.
blastvortex 4
What were you doing, ******** bricks? Or do you just have a loud exhaust fan? If neither, how the hell did you not hear your flat getting robbed? And if you did, why did you not just pull up your pants as quickly as you could and run out to twonk the buggers? At the very least, it's probably cheaper to replace a soiled pair of pants than whatever they could possibly nab.
dacho 7
That's what you get for eating meat. If you were a veg*n, you'd be done in less than four minutes, RAWWWRRR~
mementomori_fml 0
How long were you in there?
chowyuk 0
this has to be the only real fml in a really long time that is awsome but sucks for you but made my day
DynamicDave 11
Well that's pretty crappy. But meh, shit happens. See what I did there? ;p
Starsmydog 0
you made a crappy pun for a shitty fml... That's an "original" thought we should just flush down the drain -.- see what I did there... ass
ExZeRoEx 0
Sounds more like a burglary.
jrpj16 0
faker
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
As long as they didn't take the toilet paper, then this doesn't constitute a crappy situation. (doesn't hear atomic bombs falling; hears a random man coughing in the cubicle down the hall) Well, I was having a good day... Edit - (sees #22 and waves fist in anger)