Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML
Today, my grandmother informed me that I was rude to her at my wedding two months ago, all because she couldn’t sit at the bridal table, even though she "paid for the wedding." FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
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Top comments
Tarlachia 33
"I despise alcoholics, but I'll still take what I want from your estate when you die."
RjSwegMaster 7
Tell her not to come
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Comments (143)
walleye9171 3
don't be gay you queer!!
deathgrips 17
Reading this has magically turned me straight ..thank you for salvaging me FML user walleye9171
mattrd_fml 31
sorry about that OP, but I wish you and your fiance all the best.
wakemeupplease 21
You go grandma!!... putting that comment out there to watch the world burn lol
conman531 23
the prefix **** means same and phobe is irrational fear of. so by literal definition one is afraid of same which makes no sense. The word in its modern use means you hate or despise the homosexual lifestyle. If you don't like homosexuals you've committed two sins. you don't like thy neighbor and you are judging someone else without your own hands being clean of sin, both those things Jesus said not to do. I'm not even Christian and I know that
TallMist 32
ho·mo·pho·bi·a /ˌhōməˈfōbēə/ noun noun: homophobia dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.
conman531 23
oh I know that but people say they aren't homophobes because they don't fear homosexuals. I know what it means but if you notice some earlier comment says something to the effect of 'she's not a homophobe if she isn't afraid of homosexuals
TallMist 32
Oh. The way your comment was wrote, I thought you were saying something totally different. My bad! Apologies. :)
LevyLove 17
Tell her you'll go to her funeral just for the free food, nothing more.
fantasyworld 39
Tell her the booze is only for accepting, open minded people.
Exaspera 55
Best wishes to you both. And I agree with most of the above-stated sentiments, uninvite her. She doesn't deserve to attend.
Mynamewontfi 40
Congratulations on the marriage, OP! And you shouldn't invite her, it's supposed to be a happy day for you and your partner. No need to let that ruined by her.
blondelife 13
I'm sorry she feels she needs to behave that way. Hopefully it doesn't disrupt your special day!
dude_itskayley 17
Regardless of your grandmother's views, you'd think she would want to come to support and see her grandchild happy. That's too bad, and I hope you have a great wedding anyway! :)