Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML
Today, my grandmother informed me that I was rude to her at my wedding two months ago, all because she couldn’t sit at the bridal table, even though she "paid for the wedding." FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
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Top comments
Tarlachia 33
"I despise alcoholics, but I'll still take what I want from your estate when you die."
RjSwegMaster 7
Tell her not to come
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Comments (143)
zenrael 21
Oh how the Elderly can be such assholes.
deathgrips 17
Tell her that your open bar will only serve the open minded ..I'm gay too and the last thing I would want at my wedding would be a homophobic relative. So sorry OP
teentee401 37
Uninvite her. And congrats on getting married, OP!
cakefete2 31
You may be gay, but what's really not straight is her line of reasoning.
abNormal62 23
Walk away from your gramma Walk down the aisle to your new partner Start a new life and don't look back
FieldLeftBlank 20
If she says that sober, can you imagine what'll happen when she gets her hands on the free booze?
chosha_fml 27
Now imagine her telling other guests that at the reception, especially when she's had a few drinks. Don't invite her, OP. She isn't behaving like family should.
fakedsincerity 32
Ouch. That must hurt. I hope you uninvite her and don't put up with that, especially on such a special day. People will say "oh she's old and stuck in her ways!" but that's no excuse, her love for her family should overrule some damn stubbornness and misplaced fear of gay people. ps. congratulations on your wedding!
rocker_chick23 27
Uninvite her. Family or not, she doesn't deserve to go to your wedding
ohSNAPyall 27
Buy her a bottle, and tell her to stay home.
Lily_Rain77 25
Or tell her to stay home and buy her own booze.