Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AntDog27 0
Dude I feel for you. About the girl and the dog, I have a soft spot for animals, but dont worry kerp ur head up the night is always darkest before the dawn
DocBastard 40
I agree. He certainly sounds very melancollie, like he stepped in a big mud poodle. Whatever you do, don't collar. She'll probably terrier heart out all over again. And don't go chasing after her trying to retriever; you'd only look more pathetic. I would suggest a little trip to get over her - maybe to Labrador. You can use my travel agent, Jack Russell. He's a boxer on the side, but he's excellent.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
fthku 13
The dog is the bigger loss here. That really stinks. But the girl? 1. Pleading won't get her back, and even if it will you want her to be with you out of pity? 2. You seem desperate and kind of a loser for pleading. 3. If she broke with you out of the blue, your communication and relationship probably wasn't all that. IE she played you like a trumpet, boy. Anyone wanna add any points?
bradleyy 0
I think you got them all. lol.
InnocentLies 0
Awe forget that betch. >:L Sorry about your doggie though, may he rest in peace.
uhhohh5252 0
awwwh:(
Sparx1_1 16
They say bad news comes in threes..... Have you heard from grandma lately??
hideyoself 4
Maybe she got a good job and wasn't depending on you anymore
Forlorn420 9
sounds like you took all the good luck
mandypandypants 4
man the **** up theres other women out there. aside from that sorry about your dog.
Bartimaeus 7
Dude, my dog died on Christmas day. :(
raaachelll 0
The same thing happened to me last April, but it was my cat and boyfriend :(
iliketurdles 7
So your cat dumped you and your boyfriend died? That does suck.
starrs_movingIn 0
you probably put too much of ur time & emotions in a relationship that was only supposed to be a one night stand. :|