Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML
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Top comments
AntDog27 0
Dude I feel for you. About the girl and the dog, I have a soft spot for animals, but dont worry kerp ur head up the night is always darkest before the dawn
DocBastard 40
I agree. He certainly sounds very melancollie, like he stepped in a big mud poodle. Whatever you do, don't collar. She'll probably terrier heart out all over again. And don't go chasing after her trying to retriever; you'd only look more pathetic. I would suggest a little trip to get over her - maybe to Labrador. You can use my travel agent, Jack Russell. He's a boxer on the side, but he's excellent.
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Comments (100)
Bubblerider 3
obviously.
alex1502 0
i do, i love my dog, and my girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue, her parents hated me and made up a lie to get her to do so
yupishi 2
for the love of god, WHOM HAS A CORRECT GRAMMATICAL USE AND ISN'T A WORD YOU CAN USE ANY TIME TO MAKE YOU SOUND SMART!
craphappened 4
Your sentence probably needs a little more punctuation.
fthku 13
Whom are you talking about, willis?
WishLine 6
Surely you mean 'About whom are you talking'? ;) Not that we need perfect grammar on the internet, but it's nice to try xD Peace and love, everybody.
BosatKhanjar101 0
I am so sorry :'( that really sucks dude!!!! just try to get her back by just being romantic and tell her in detail why u like her and how much u do. we girls love that :)
PurplePeeps 0
I believe that is open for interpretation.
DriAA7 17
nobody wants to date a dude with a vag :)
Perksofbeingawal 0
Hahahahaha thank you for making my day. :)
twiddles1989 0
yalllllllll
DakotaCat 4
You lost 2 bitches today..
caleb_m91 1
**** her younger sister or her mum. that will teach the bitch.