Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while making lunch, I passed out. After waking up in the hospital, my brother yelled at me for leaving the freezer open. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
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Top comments
kittenmeownyan 18
Being hit in the throat would be anyone's weakness. Hope you're okay op
ocramavaf 15
find out his with a kick to the nuts
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Comments (64)
kittenmeownyan 18
Being hit in the throat would be anyone's weakness. Hope you're okay op
Demonfish 14
Damn straight it is, I've heard it's a very nasty way to die... The pain of the crushed trachea coupled with the inability to breathe, not nice... I would not recommend hitting his throat as payback, you wouldn't want to go to far and accidentally kill your brother. And do warn him of his idiocy, I'm sure that he wouldn't like that sort of blood on his hands either.
imessedwithtexas 13
my brother used to do that to me to wake me up for school in the morning and tell me to stop faking.
GothickNihilist 15
If that is true, your brother is seriously deranged.
cmayer 20
I hate your brother for you.
LOLgasmic123 9
Can someone tell me why #2 got thumbed down for that comment?
ocramavaf 15
find out his with a kick to the nuts
asira 2
best solution so far
ollie179 21
At least your weakness isn't Kryptonite! Poor Superman...
bazzer69 3
Well kryptonite is a lot harder to get then pinching them in the throat,
bazzer69 3
Well I think he'd actually prefer to have kryptonite as his weakness because I doubt his brother would be in possession of very much of it ....yay superman
andyyroxx 20
Pinching or punching? Either way they both hurt like cum-cannons, and you're right - everybody has a throat. Not everybody has Kryptonite.
PenguinBitch 44
They both hurt like cumcannons? I see you've been "shot" at numerous of times.
A100893 30
1. Get a bat 2. Twirl it around while glaring your brother down 3. ????????? 4. Have a useful minion for the rest of your lif- *ahem* I mean, "profit"
Lionesse 15
Please explain how this actually helps.
coleelovesMAGIC 8
Brilliant.
Dead_Fox 17
A swift kick to his gonads might even the score!
malkavian_mad 13
Deja vu ;)
Tempest151 11
If he's your twin then you know HIS weakness!
oj101 33
#7 - I think a strike to the neck would be anyone's weakness...
leadawg75 12
Not all twins have the same traits and characteristics...
Sarow_96 13
HAHAHAHAHAHA !!! Just pinch his inner thigh, and he will be running like a baby to his mommy. That would teach him a lesson for life. Take it from the middle child ;)
leadawg75 12
Thanks for the tip...now where is my sister?!
Kkkdawg 27
Ahh, to be an only child...
Demonfish 14
Kick his arse OP, teach him the idiocy of his actions before he accidentally causes some serious damage, through his ignorance.