Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried bondage for the first time. After I was tied up, I discovered he has a tickling fetish, which is when I learned why you should ALWAYS have a safe word before bondage. FML
Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
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Top comments
quickit 24
Try some new things out; ask her what she wants.
DreadedSamurai 17
I think the yawning should be enough OP. FYL
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Comments (103)
Krwman 8
She needs to meet the OP's boyfriend from yesterday who stops in the middle for donuts.
abbey1822 12
Haha step your game up, lame ass
gintwinsmoore 20
#46...no need to call him a lame ass...maybe he's more inexperienced than she is which makes it boring for her.
ajs1987 15
Give her that safe word, but then abuse it. Any time she's complaining about something or talking to you about something you don't care about, you'll know what to say.
Zebediabolical 45
Rule 1: If a woman is not able or willing to communicate her wants and desires to her partner you deserve all the shitty and boring sex she gets. Rule 2: If a man is not able or willing to communicate his wants and desires then he deserves all the shitty and boring sex he gets. It can be something as simple as 'a little to the left' to as difficult as 'I'll only sex up someone who's a naturally bald one-toothed midget'. If you don't put yourself out there and communicate it, you'll probably never ever get it.
Candyazz 10
how in God's name did you know my fetish?!?
chronicB 19
her "caramel! caramel!" you "are you hurt?" her "No the walking dead is on!"
GAMERZxxHD 25
Did she tell you it was for when she gets bored or did you figure it out? Cause I feel as if you figured it out you should have tried to change things up.
GodfriedGrobler 8
Since when did you begin doing BDSM? Since 50Shades? pffft.. fail!
thewife5 19
They're not into any sort of bondage... Comprehension is a lovely quality.
sarcasmwins 24
"I wanna know what love isssss, I want you to show meeeee" if none of these work time to belt out a safe song, OP. Right to the point.
tibtak_fml 10
Maybe you should get into BDSM
vikky538 29
By looking at your user name "username" i would suggest the safe word to "use her name"
Shade1982 21
Wait, a comment that actually made me laugh? You must be GOD!!! I bow to you...