Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML
Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML
Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
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Top comments
fruityloopz 4
story of my life.
bravesfan112233 0
back to xbox
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Comments (221)
Snaylor12 0
first!! haha
fruityloopz 4
story of my life.
bravesfan112233 0
back to xbox
CryMoreFMLs 15
Back to finding mooseknuckles.
pertained 12
Abstinence is A-okay :D
sterlingarcher 1
agreed lol ^^
Bassmasterclassi 2
time to spice it up. maybe try doggy style (my favorite by the way) or learn how to go down like a pro. communication in the sack is important for a successful relationship.
looraa_fml 0
I love how appropriate your pic is for this comment! -STERN FACE-
mfmylifesrsly 30
dump her. my bffs boyfriend won't kiss or have sex with her because she isn't a screamer, and she won't dump him. don't look like you have no self respect OP, leave her
ImmortalKratos 0
sounds like it's time for some SURPRISE BUTT SEX!
truthinlies 1
more like forced butt revenge anger sex
billcosby41 0
^^^ that's basically rape ;O
MC18 0
Sorry...Go bowling. hahah jk lolz.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'd turn to asphyxiation, choke her a little. If that doesn't work, good luck.
wisky_fml 5
I moderated this! woohoo
erick0619 0
try getting into some yoga and watch more **** it's sure to help :D
adrianblackett 0
no. 24 doggy style ... smh ur pic is a dog soo I don't tink the doggy style u like is normal
TroII 0
Just yell "Suprise!" before the rape (;
ImSoBaKed 0
go 'bowling for columbine'?
staceysgenesis16 0
wow .... lolololol people hav sum good ideas on here eh .. lmfao
groundzeromma 8
just a thought "If you ain't giving it to her someone else is"
jimboner69 6
back to your hand
ImThePope 2
Back to my girl- oh... wait...
ImThePope 2
OH! #1 your picture is my iPods background.. even though you don't care.
kcluna 6
Seems like it's time to invite someone else!?
Angi95 3
You still got 6 chicks palm and her five friends.
sydneynault99 7
damn eh ...
clojo1112 0
he should look up the niggaflip, it's super funny and a great technique... lol:)
largefoofighter 0
bring out the farm animals
Kawboy 1
VODKA!! that should spice things up a bit! lol
Jimmmmmy 5
back to jill
mariazzz 5
possibility she's been doing someone else on the side?
TurnpikeTwister 0
She has no reason to bitch if she's not even trying; at any rate, that's bs, and you should probably move on and find someone else who isn't as frigid and who enjoys trying new things, not just laying there like a rag doll...
kameryn25 3
Easily the best titled FML.
usbaby24 3
tell her oh thank god u said it before me i was getting tired of u just laying there wasnt doing anything for me
natirixoxo 0
we give mire sex if you give it to us the way we like it
PandaSue92 4
It takes two to tango, boys. If you're boring and she's not just laying there- your fault, not her being a lazy bitch.
Avenged7Gabe 0
that sucks for you
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
lol nice pic haha
booboojlc 0
u need to spice it up a bit then!
Hotlanta 5
just watch some **** and take notes on it.... you'll be alright. or tell her if you don't practice you won't get any better
schmelia 10
Modern **** usually focuses on satisfying men, so probably not the ideal place to get tips on satisfying a woman..,
withered 30
Yeah, because **** is so realistic. Not to mention each person has their own preferences. Why not just talk with your partner about what they would like and what they would like to change to make things more exciting? Also, there is this research "OMGyes" that collected their data from actual women about pleasuring them(selves). A lot better source than staged ****.
smile1992 0
try some new moves, and if she is losing interest that could throw your relationship out the window coz it dosnt sound like she loves you very much
emagenasian 0
I concur
Death_From_Above 0
I'd have to say I agree too
PeopleWatcher 0
I agree w/ Smiles. try spending more time on her & focus on her. especially, you know where. slow then gradually speed up. like starting a car in sub-zero temps. gotta warm it up then drive it or you will stall. if it's a no-go, then you now know where you need improvement, then go learn!
EvilPotato 15
5 it seems you don't like grammar much, and you threw it out the window.
Death_From_Above 0
79- a car will not stall out in sub zero temperatures. the only things your risking is ruining your transmission. when starting a car in sub zero temperatures it is best to wait until the inside of the car is heated to a comfortable degree for the passengers and/or the engine temperature is at it's normal running temperature. this ensures that your transmission is at it's normal tenperature and you won't over work it or eat up your gears or synchronizers.
smile1992 0
hahaha because I wrote 'coz', grow up ******** it's an fml app not school
TheSithAssassin 15
That wasn't the only thing you did wrong.
DRIEAM 0
You used the word "wrong" incorrectly. If you're going to be an idiot who has to correct grammar to feel better about yourself, then please, at least do it correctly.
smile1992 0
159 you clearly need to grow up and 160 I agree with you
fidyduce 0
This was funnier than the OP. LoL
MinnesotaMakesMe 0
She said it, do what ya can, and then its up to her, but I can give you a 50% chance she's cheating
JxDxP 0
She could have broken up with you. There's somethin'.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Buy some toys. Toys make everything fun.
RedPillSucks 33
Like a sponge-bob pillow, or a Buzz Lightyear action figure (anatomically correct).
CateXOX 0
I know where I'd put the action figure, not sure about the pillow though...
s3xymoma 1
haha not that kind of toy ! adult toys!
sara1010 0
yes i think they know that. its called being sarcastic
destinyo_ox 0
HAHAHAHAH
gibb_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Put it in her butt.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Of course that's the answer, that'll always help the situation.
br0itstaylor 0
at least you still got your hand to love
zackyp 0
hot^
livin_plur 0
I'm sure she already knows lol
fmart 0
im sure both of you alredy know :)
naldo_fml 0
^hot!!! I know I know, I'm sure she already knows