Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
I hope the safe word was "loveyoutoo"
bromeister 6
You simply made her think of what she loves most..
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Comments (153)
nkb94 18
Damn.
incoherentrmblr 22
Bird is = or > Word.
miyaviichan 27
Mine's Stalin.
cumberbunny 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ex girlfriend now?
1nertia 15
One day, you're going to jump to wrong conclusion and break your leg in the process.
Redoxx_fml 22
Then she can make that game from Office Space
mpkpm 19
Have to try to commit suicide first. Then realize you want to live.
cumberbunny 17
#30 What?
junkman6 22
#30 is referencing how the jump to conclusions mat came into existence in Office Space. "Kids these days. Not knowing classic movies!"
wcc7777777 5
Yeah, if we could keep talking about how amazing Office Space is, that'd be great...
bromeister 6
You simply made her think of what she loves most..
Rizzen 27
says the guy with a Ron Jeremy profile picture XD
incoherentrmblr 22
^ Inception at its filthiest...
Alikia96 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There's too many pineapples up in this joint. Time to start rethinking your future with that woman. Sorry bro :
ohcheriecherie 20
not really sure why you're getting thumbed down...
Kibaruto 33
You know why. You know why.
lemontreee 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm guessing she doesn't feel the same way
Redoxx_fml 22
I hope the safe word was "loveyoutoo"
Never_Land 10
That was smooth number 8
cherries62212 16
At least she tried, right? That's worth something:)
Redoxx_fml 22
Tried what? S&M
False_Stupidity 42
So, your both into and engage in S&M but you haven't expressed your love before?
fivetimeslonger 24
You don't have to love someone to tie them up and f*** them..
RedPillSucks 33
Says the evil looking cat. That scares the shit out of me.
ironichalibut 24
Who's to say they weren't "expressing their love" so to speak, already?
NiceGuysDoWin 21
Love is by no means a requirement for good sex or good BDSM. Trust is essential, but love is not. Now for my own personal opinion, I prefer to have an emotional connection, but I know many people who prefer their BDSM to be separated from romantic emotions.
TheDrifter 24
Depending what you're into, it can be far easier and more enjoyable without a deep emotional connection getting between the participants and the things they take pleasure from.
LitaSixx 7
What's "messed up" is being judgmental about something you obviously don't understand. Everyone likes something different, that's why there's so many flavors of ice cream. What's right for you isn't necessarily right for someone else, and vice versa. Some of us just don't want to deal with all the BS that goes along with a relationshit.
LitaSixx 7
Again with the judging! There are-gasp!- people who would rather focus on their own lives, or don't have time or any number of reasons that don't involve past relationships. There are some women who just prefer to be single or have an arrangement. There's nothing wrong with it, its an adult decision. But saying that a woman "needs" a relationship makes you sound rather ignorant. We spent many years breaking down walls and fighting for equal rights and proving that we can make our own decisions, for what? So some judgy kid on a message board can cry about how we need companionship? Sorry, I don't buy it.
lalaney 14
I'm willing to bet you're mistaken in your entire sex life just because you say things like "women tend to fall for whoever they have sex with". You're clearly very inexperienced and ignorant.
SuperStormCindy 8
You absolutely not gave to be in love to have the best wex of your life. Either way, fyl op.
thisguy22 33
Why does everyone here who's talking about s&m have a cat picture? Is it a prerequisite or just happenstance?
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Yea ever heard of the term aromantic or asexual? Cause guess what some people dont feel romantic connections or sexual connections so thus there is a world of different types of relationships to fufill everyones needs
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
And another thing alot of people who first have sex, usually in a loving relationship before sex it's not that you go to a bar **** a girl and now you have a loving wife idk what goes on in your world but usually when it comes to sex girls and guys who are just plain ******* have established the This-is-no-strings-attached rule
whys0serious 12
WTF is wrong with you all? She's not judging, it's just her opinion. And she has the right to have an opinion that is not the same as yours. If anybody is judging than it's you guys. My own opinion is that pretty much everybody likes different things. Some need love, some don't. Some love or even marry things. There are some really f....d up people out there. So no idea about them. I personally had both, and agree with her - while the sex relationships where pretty great, nothing beats having sex (sm or 'regular', whatever that is :D) with my wife. Loving her just makes it far more intense to take her. Just my opinion.
luverofakatsuki 16
in bdsm it isnt always about lovey dovey crap its about fulfillment
Liamj774 36
Hope the safeword isn't penis
tanyatsaini 7
Why does this comment have dislikes?
lailagothgal 16
Because its not funny.
glorialaura21 8
because penis is the most stupid and pointless safe word ever
pathxfinder 11
So logical and helpful comments get thumbs down? Yea that's really smart...