Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
Wuss
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
Top comments
WCARlover 35
Your name says it all OP
jpoole 4
It sounds like you guys are doing it wrong. Try it up her ass??
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Comments (270)
GP14brBaller 5
Soon she'll move on to bigger and better things.
clockworklolita 3
I'm pretty sure that could be considered sexual assault :/
clockworklolita 3
I agree. I deliberated over whether to put rape or sexual assault in my original comment, but with seemingly every other commenter on here laughing at the OP, I thought putting rape would attract a load of "you're overreacting, this isn't rape, how dare you diminish what rape victims go through, legally this wouldn't be considered rape because herpderp not a ******" type comments and frankly I just couldn't be bothered with the potential argument. I figured 'sexual assault' covered it either way. I just don't get why people are treating this like some big ol' joke and not seeing it for what it actually is. But then all this "Well why were you naked? You deserved it," "There's no way she could have done that as a surprise, you must have let her," "Stop complaining, at least it wasn't something worse," "I bet you liked it really," bullshit is exactly the type of thing a lot of rape victims hear, so maybe people do realise and they just don't care. It's disgusting.
AliCat18 12
kinky! come on, you know you enjoyed it!
olivercooper 6
Gadaffi'd!
smashmaster52 0
Already used be a lil more original
StalinsHeir 1
She's hinting at something lol
eurekaroy 6
Never the leave the sacred hole unguarded.
bevsta 7
What is a q tip?
Petunia888 13
Why do people think it's weird to brush your teeth naked? You've got your idiosyncrasies; let OP have his. That chick would have gotten an elbow to the face if it had been me.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Exactly. OP probably just got out of the shower and went straight to brush his teeth. It's not -that- weird.
TattedDownJah 2
How does that happen SMDH
ImNoUnicorn 3
KADAFI!!!