Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML
Bad doggo
Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML
Law and order
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Naughty boy
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Unattack dog
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
Flustered
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Pick it up
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
So sorry!
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Top comments
davek 36
YDI, if your dog is out in public it should be on a lead.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Did you find out what set it was? A friend and I once sneaked onto the set of a movie basically just because we could. We pretended to be extras for the whole day and never got caught.
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Comments (104)
Lushhhhhh 0
You might as well shouldve gone to the catering area too.
jwc93 0
go go go
nerdsgetmehot 23
My comment ended up in the wrong place somehow. Er...
imaginaryvoice 18
CitizenSnipz 0
>
MagicGiraffe 12
Best.... FML...... ever.....
natvv 0
Look on the bright side: your dog will be famous !! Blooper reel, bitches !! xD
daltreix 3
>
davek 36
YDI, if your dog is out in public it should be on a lead.
mintcar 10
Leash?
mintcar 10
Wait... I think "lead" is the British term. Don't pay any attention to my above comment.
iltby 3
Spot on, thank you. Also, yes, 'lead' is the correct term. People around the world do sometimes speak differently to Americans ;)
Jennifra 0
Ya a dog should be on a leash, especially if it clearly doesn't listen to you... learn to be responsible. YDI - A pet is a liability.
sourgirl101 29
I agree. I don't understand why people can't take better care of their pets. Not giving them proper exercise and feeding them cheap food, loaded with fillers?! Huge pet peeve of mind.
sourgirl101 29
This FML is acting up. Why are there 2 different people posted as #3 When you switch back and forth?
sourgirl101 29
Iicaptain, you dog! You come up with some crazy thoughts sometimes. (: What a wicked mind you got there.
ikeoni 0
Stfu!!!!
DocBastard 40
ikeoni, I'm not sure to whom your comment was directed, but I can assure you that whoever it is will not shut up. This comment section is here for a reason, and the MFD (Mighty FML Deity) saw fit to create the comment section such that one can reply to the original post or to any of the comments. Do you think you are wiser than the omnipotent MFD? I think not.
sourgirl101 29
Ssssssssh..........sugar! Docbastard, I was going to say something, but these FML posts are getting all screwed up so it might not be in the right place. Besides, it can't be me he's speaking to. I'm so sweet!(:
NancyDeebensDPDS 0
sourgirl, some dogs and breeds are born with more body fat and are natrually chubby, so it's not necessarily the owners fault. Some people actually exercise them (the pet) regularally, but their pet is still obese. Most likely because at birth they were born with more body fat then others.
suprmidgt 0
first get your dog to respect you and you wouldn't have these issues. why's the dog fat by the way?
nerdsgetmehot 23
Did you find out what set it was? A friend and I once sneaked onto the set of a movie basically just because we could. We pretended to be extras for the whole day and never got caught.
funsize304 0
that's awesome
nerdsgetmehot 23
#14 I know, I know. I'm sorry! For some reason, I thought it was banal story time. :P Does it make it even a fraction more interesting if I tell you it was the set of Twilight? (Seriously. I'm more than a little embarrassed to admit it...)
nerdsgetmehot 23
#22 I know you were kidding! Goodness. :P Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart walked right past me, but I didn't have a weapon on hand at the time. What a pity. I could have stopped the whole series!
nerdsgetmehot 23
#27 Oh, I've definitely learned my lesson. Let it be known that I carry a sharpened wooden stake with me at all times. Vampires and creepers alike beware!
allenrotstein 0
You should have beaten that Kirsten Fugly girl's ass and spared us of 4 awful movies and hordes of crazy fan-teenagers. I don't like you anymore.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#42 I don't particularly like you either. :)
Mesocoollike 8
We got a hater!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Actually, the fact that it was Twilight does make it more impressive. I'm surprised security didn't just tase any younger-looking females and ask questions later. ;)
nerdsgetmehot 23
#57 Yay for haters! I'm flattered. #60 Bahaha! Good point, Jane. The security was pretty tight, so the fact that I managed to sneak on set surprised even me.
MetalFish 0
I don't understand why girls insist that the twilight lead female actor is ugly, I wouldn't kick her out of bed, regardless of what crappy film she is in!
nerdsgetmehot 23
I don't think she's ugly. But I'm bi, so...I guess I'm biased?
ImaginaryFoe 1
^ This. I can't think of a reason why you don't deserve this.
nycy 0
I know this has been said before but that picture of yours nerds gets me hot
DLTsandwich 5
1. Get a leash 2. Stop feeding your dog table scraps
tygerarmy 35
dlt you're right on point. If your dog was on a leash and didn't eat human food this wouldn't have happened. If your dog was trained and not a fatty you could have got away without either because your dog would've listened to you. YDI, poor doggy
Master_Of_Sand 0
Well, if you wouldn't jack off so much, this wouldn't have happened!!! It's your own fault and you know it. You fail at life.
Master_Of_Sand 0
Hahaha, ah, no.
amazinemo578 4
fail
hobosareawesome 0
Lmao this made my day :)