Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
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Top comments
hpl_fml 0
wow just wow
karro 1
lol maybe she means talking? lol
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Comments (170)
eriinbaby 0
hahahhaha shouldn't that be a win win for you? ;)
BigK_Diet_Cola 1
The obligatory "not an FML" comment.
PineappleEspress 0
hahaha
StoryOfTheYear 15
29- at least it's not snickerdoodles doing it
imdeborah 0
#15, I'm going to have to agree. What the **** kind of FML is this?
SubjectDelta 0
I dunno 42, she might be good at it
kobraiikid 0
Well she said ask anyone
tgabriel12 0
i believe your girlfriend is a *****, does she have a cell phone number? can I have it?
CallMeHush 1
She gave it to me it is 800-328-7448.
tekinzdudez 0
this isn't that bad, so what if she sucks everyone's dick, just get her to suck yours and shut up about it
beer01 0
Win lose situation. More BJs for you and maybe for others as well.
dinosaurssayrawr 0
Your gf might be cheating.if she says she's good with her mouth to ask ANYONE(; %^twilightsGAY^%
The_Toxic_Mite 0
What a smartarse. FYL
quietlytearful 0
first ! : ^ D
PsychoMerk 0
^^ does this one get moderated even though it's a total F A I L!!!!!!???? xD
haha123321 0
he may have been joking. and if not I hope it stays cause that's a total fail
Yuppie 7
I think it gives the term "double facepalm" a new meaning. ---> http://www.cultofmac.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/DoubleFacePalm.jpg
krispybacon4321 23
More like 25th
perdix 31
Why does she have to tell you that? Are you the only one in her world that she doesn't blow? Maybe it's because you are not a relative.
trizzieb 0
Perdix for the WIN
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Their family reunions must be a big hit.
Jack99 0
if she blows relatives, isn't she a redneck?
beetman5 4
yeah I moderated this one. LIKE SEVEN TIMES
tayinator 0
the only way this could be an FML is if she's 'good with her mouth' and you aren't or haven't even gotten any to know if your good with your mouth and your jealous she has?