Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
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Top comments
hpl_fml 0
wow just wow
karro 1
lol maybe she means talking? lol
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Comments (170)
w_haleigh2090 1
That's what she said.
happyvampire16 0
Really.......none of you know whether she's a ***** r not. Try opening ur narrow ass minds just a bit. People who are good with their mouths consists of lawyers, translators, presentation givers, and if you know your history and try thinking for a sec Civil Rights activists. So please keep ur mind out the goddam gutter for one fukin second regardless of whether it can be funny or not.
lunax_fml 14
people that "are good with their mouths" like lawyers and such wouldn't say "good with their mouth" they would say they were articulate. so the only other option other than ***** is that shes a complete idiot who *thinks* shes smart.
Sparky65 0
shes a keeper..
SaturnE_fml 0
Sometimes things just come out of your mouth wrong -- unless you're the OP's GF. Then they whatever her mouth does with the things is right.
SaturnE_fml 0
Wow... Blank moment of typing -- The second sentence shouldn't have a "they".
D_Nasty101 0
Oh goodness! Lucky you! maybe...
vince1196 0
that means your going to get good head
crodrig8 0
dude your lucky
RiskiBusiness 1
she is pretty good
brian55555 0
i agree witg spicayy
wildboyzrule 7
that's a keeper