Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
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Top comments
hpl_fml 0
wow just wow
karro 1
lol maybe she means talking? lol
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Comments (170)
elizabethan13 0
Oh gosh, do you men ever stop thinking about your d*cks??
jonyboymusic 6
No
Arza81 0
I can't believe some don't think its an FML!! when ur girlfriend says that, in public, then tells you to go ask anyone that knows her.... That's a mother f*****g FML EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK!! she is a keeper though, just don't take her out in public lmao
Strafeh 9
#Weak
Matt1989 3
thats one hell of a way to find out your gf is slutty. hahahaha
neilsc 8
Well least she is honest :) It takes a real girl to be able to be great with her mouth/hands ;) I can show you if you like ;)
kiara16 0
Please tell me u dumped her...
Evilbear 16
I still don't get it: if a guy has ****** all the girls in town he's awesome, and if a girl has sucked more than one dick she's a ****. Just men's logic I guess ^^
AZ_Hockey_Dude 20
Dump and change
midnightmoon106 12
That's what she said
hegchog12 18
I can vouch for her