Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hpl_fml 0
wow just wow
karro 1
lol maybe she means talking? lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
hpl_fml 0
wow just wow
shocka_fml 4
if you think about it, that just might be a good thing
OkamiAngel 0
Agreed so she might be a **** but hey.
abcnonamecba 0
lol at no more xbox
13__Loki__13 1
... and I bet she always needs a breath mint.
XpertMarksman 0
your friends can play Sexbox instead
sixtimessix 0
if you actually think about the chicks a ***** who gives everyone head
saviisneat 0
hey everyone we have a genius here ^^^
StoryOfTheYear 15
11- now how did you deduce that one Sherlock
KurouTenshi 0
maybe he used KGB :o
yerliefsuks 0
did he text 542542 or use KGB.com or the iPhone app?
locklock 0
can u take a hint
trizzieb 0
OP) She is REALLY good ;0)
HamsteronA 0
no shit Sherlock
sucks4you09 0
Uhhh no FML, atleast u get good head?
TurtleHabitat 0
What... does she talk a lot?
jasonsaied 1
this is good for the OP ;)
dance_till_dawn 0
11? No shit, Dumbass! Your response was pretty much unintellible. So, if you think about it...you're an idiot!
Satoyuki 0
Unintellible? xD
StoryOfTheYear 15
takes skill to be unintellable
marlon001 0
ur ****** retarded
WolfsGuns 0
op, you should ask her to prove it to you, over and over
Yuppie 7
Haha, I'ts probably not an easy feat.
Ools 0
keep digging Watson
rwac07 0
#17 Win!
onceuponapenis 0
she's right...she is. trust me I'm a doctor.
XYZzzzzzzz 0
How the **** is this an fml
MightyMike2509 0
#11 is a hero hahahaha. wow. your a hero #11 lol. a hero. hahaha.
vanillathirteen 0
op ask your dad. he probably knows
Nailbunny 4
lol...she's a *****
metalhead256 0
yea girls wonder how they become ***** and nobody whants to date them well think of it as guys dont whant to kiss them were like 20 other guys dicks have been
ndiesal 0
Too bad 11 was responding to 6's comment. Yeah, who are the jackasses now? LOL
iluvjk13 0
hahaha 84, win.
cmac86 24
exactly!
missASHLEYnicole 0
lol a lot of these comments are making me laugh. usually i get annoyed from the arguing.
StoryOfTheYear 15
84- to bad there is no 6 comment
icychill67 1
must be a blond lol jk
PiiScHkE 0
your a ****** ass piece of shit tell her to suck your D or leave
max98_fml 0
I lost the game
redshortsx 0
BJ s for everyone
biohaz_fml 0
damn I hope it's a girl cuz if it's a guy I'm going throw up right now
ahildreth88x 0
ha
noahvs67 0
123 the first rounds free from her
kayrystal123 6
thats a 2 way deal good and bad
spicayyy 0
at least you'll get more BJs, stop complaining.
dipo7213 3
yeah, that's kind of a good thing, more bjs but then again, more stds?
skid1996 0
ha ha!!!!
mcme 0
***** watch
shotstack 0
I think we just discovered the source of the Arkansas high school massacre a few years back...
karro 1
lol maybe she means talking? lol
KurouTenshi 0
warning sign #286 that your girlfriend might be a *****.
FYLDeep 26
Yeah she is good with her mouth. She did tell you to ask me, so I'm just saying.
dodgewama 0
LMAO
bmalley 0
someone's girlfriend was on clerks? just how many? tell us.
AndreaHaha 0
Okay soo you suck?
ndiesal 0
#40 = fail. Maybe OP's girlfriend has sucked 37 different dicks... maybe more