Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
Big_Red_138 3
Well that's misfortunate...hopefully she lunged back at you in a blind fury and beat the shit out of her ex.
Freeze_fml 17
That'll teach her to bring her ex into it.
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Comments (140)
unluckiestperson_fml 14
I'm curious as to why he punched you in the face...
GravyGuy 11
Jealousy.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Touché gravyguy. Cool name btw.
shamille 5
Exes are always batshit crazy. It's a truth of FML.
IrishChic10 0
50 more like the truth of life!!
Bravo11 14
29/17~ I dig your hair.
RyanA7X77 0
Hey.. I'm not a perv or a wired guy but you darling are beautiful :) Don't let anyone tell you different :) Sorry... Random
BaconDave 12
You've got some explaining to do!
BaconDave 12
You've got some explaining to do!
BaconDave 12
You've got some explaining to do!
MrXerxes5 6
ULTRA! ULTRA! ULTRA! SUPREME LOSS!
dreamering 16
By now, I think we got your point.
footballur 0
I think you meant to punch her...
holladah 0
agreed
lovejdbieber 0
well at least ur girlfriend won't have an ex for the fact that u don't have a girlfriend.
Primus_fml 0
What?
mk58 31
Was that supposed to make sense?
mattdunc 0
whaaat?
Mesocoollike 8
she'll still have an ex...
danica45 7
OMG what?! This was so non sensical that I literally laughed out loud - then I read the replies and literally died laughing =]
NomadicFlo 4
RIP danica45
DropTheDaggerxx 31
I think he's trying to say that his girlfriend won't have an ex anymore because she won't be /his/ girlfriend, assuming she broke up with OP because he punched her. I think.. if not, then, what the ****, bro?
CsDy1395 6
if anything, she'll have two exes. unless you want to get mathematical, in which case two negatives make a positive. but I don't think people work mathematically...
wat11115 0
ah but my friend adding two negatives still makes a negative
xXCODGODXx 11
true dat MATH ROCKS haha
sorrowevicteon 9
That's what happens when a Beiber fan speaks... Or types...
Angelpower44 11
That makes perfect sense.....
kiddisskidd 0
wow... well I hope she's okay. sounds like that would hurt.
mrtoby 0
I think she would be okay... he was half conscious so I'd hope for the best lol
Cleao18317 11
hey,she just might not break up with you.. if you explain..good luck with that
HeroOfTime13 0
i dont know if i should call you a wimp for letting yourself get blind sided like that. if your a lover not a fighter start showing some extra love for that poor girl.