Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Press charges on her for assault!!! Photograph your injuries and pursue prosecution. She needs to learn a hard lesson!
Elizabeth Burley 22
You totally need to press charges. That's not only assault but domestic abuse. She could go to jail for a long time for doing that. Take a lot of pictures of your injuries and get witness statements if you can. That's ******* crazy! Glad you're out of there OP!
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Comments (4)
cuz803 46
Press charges on her for assault!!! Photograph your injuries and pursue prosecution. She needs to learn a hard lesson!
Elizabeth Burley 22
You totally need to press charges. That's not only assault but domestic abuse. She could go to jail for a long time for doing that. Take a lot of pictures of your injuries and get witness statements if you can. That's ******* crazy! Glad you're out of there OP!
Brightside86 31
Aww young love...