Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
Big_Red_138 3
Well that's misfortunate...hopefully she lunged back at you in a blind fury and beat the shit out of her ex.
Freeze_fml 17
That'll teach her to bring her ex into it.
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Comments (140)
cjgqsmooth 0
congratulations you are now Ike Turner lhh just kidding! this is an unfortunate situation
rat3dxx 0
women beater (0_o)
FllAqiitthAMENA 0
hahahaha
lisha88 1
I hope u didn't break her jaw
Illyssa_fml 4
Omg!! hahaha! Next time, take a sec to see who you are attacking!!!
camdogcam 0
atta boy kayne!
BigJ365 4
damn
LilysTillie 7
That sucks OP....the fact that you put it as an FML makes me think you feel bad. Hope she's okay. (You too)! She really should've got out of the way as soon as you got hit!
tenacious_dee 0
I frickin' hate when exes get involved...it was probably your girlfriend's fault you got punched, OP. You might wanna look into that!
justanotherhuman 21
Lol, once again I marvel at some people's foolishness. First, granted getting thoroughly stomped in front of your lover is a trifle humiliating, buuut... dumb, dumb, dumb. Know when you're outmatched; it'll save you a large hospital bill. Being a tough guy = your pride has your balls in a vice grip. Eventually your mouth will write a check your ass can't cash... there is *always* a bigger fish. Second, this is America, and the year is 2011. Sue. Sue, sue, sue. Violence is monkey bullshit that has no place in society. The assault/battery laws are there to ensure people who can't control their ragequits are penalized for their willingness to inflict physical violence on other human beings. Dear OP, YDI. You failed hardcore. Anyway your pride may be hurt, but your bank account could sure benefit here.