Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Proof that guys aren't always the animals starving for sex
dominic1221 6
You're an illiterate moron, aren't you? Maybe you should spend less time jacking off in English class, kid.
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Comments (175)
Yolandababy2 14
Damn. You remind me of my brother. He has a mind frame of a girl. Anybody that says lets F and if its the first day he's all like "oh no. I have to get to know you first". I'm like "Steven she just wants to hit and quite it. She not looking for a relationship." Sometimes I wonder if he's secretly gay. Are you?
IXChaosDragonXI 13
You're the luckiest guy in the world!
Razi_tail 25
If the genders were reversed in this fml, the comments would be so different. She needs to show you respect as well.
CryosFear 14
Awwwww ;-( that sucks
amirabal00 3
what is wrong with you why would you say that
TallMist 32
Why does he deserve this? What if he wants to wait until marriage for sex? What's wrong with a guy not wanting to ****?
simmybaby_ 13
Why are there so many negative comments. There's nothing wrong with him wanting more than sex.
rupertajm90 15
hand in your man card..... NOW
george_s_4 32
I actually understand the OP. I'm not religious at all but I don't see sex as a big thing is a relationship. I just want someone who cares about me, will stick with me, and who I can hang out with a lot
EwahWeeWah 21
Sorry but it's his choice if he wants to cuddle and not have sex, he obviously doesn't want to have sex at that time and thus it is his choice, I cannot at all see how "he deserved it"