Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
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Top comments
Yousuck24 21
I would of laughed too...
gabbiechaoss 5
If she does, you can forget about doing it doggystyle. Instant mood killer.
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Comments (144)
Arod62694_fml_fml 1
Kill it! Kill it with fire!
LennyComa 39
wow....i mean wow...that's just....wow, She sounds terminally stupid.
roninvamp 4
DUMP HER!
ToBeAnnounced 2
I'm so sorry. You're just with her because she puts out..right?
maddiewoah 15
I'm sorry.. I like Twilight (no, I'm not a crazy retarded fangirl who is obsessed with it, I just like it.) but I'd laugh at her AND call her dumb. Because THAT is crazy retarded fangirl obsession.
zenshu_fml 3
That's what you get for dating an idiot.
aliciamarie1 8
Get out while you still can..
ShyAnn29 15
I'm just curious, why do people hate Twilight so much? Everyone has different tastes, so why make fun of someone for liking a book and movie?
EyesofStone 27
Because it's cool to hate on it. :grabs umbrella for downpour of down votes:
Alyma13 5
Because from a literature standpoint, especially a vampire novel standpoint, it's worth less than poop on a shoe.
EyesofStone 27
But that's the thing. It's not "literature." It's a novel for young adults meant to be a fun, casual read. Sure, some people take it too far. Whatever. That's what happens in fandoms. I'm not defending the OP's girlfriend's decision, and I'm not even a Twilight fan, but it really shouldn't be as big of a deal as it is. I read the books, and they were fine. It was an alright series that kept me busy for a few days. Nothing special. I think I rambled a lot, but my point is that light reads don't need to have a literary basis. They don't need to be life changing. Their purpose is to entertain.
yesyesnonono 10
For your sake, I hope you mean your ex.
OneToughChick 13
I'd leave her