Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
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Top comments
Yousuck24 21
I would of laughed too...
gabbiechaoss 5
If she does, you can forget about doing it doggystyle. Instant mood killer.
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Comments (144)
monkiki62 5
Who cares its her body get over it. Im sure one of your tattoo ideas would be just as lame .
junkman6 22
Getting a fictional family of glittery vampires tattooed on your back is just about as low as you can go on the tattoo spectrum. And I've seen morons with snoopy tramp stamps.
CarouselHeart 11
Damn, what an idiot.
KiddNYC1O 22
That's outrageous. You must stop her!
onorexveritas 24
you are one lucky guy my friend. NOT!
ashcin 7
I think its time for a new girlfriend
femaleweezy_fml 3
so she likes vampires huh?
agramza3 4
okay Cullen is actually my moms maiden name so maybe she's not so dumb.
Jinxx7 0
You need to get a better girlfriend
loloalltheway 23
I like twilight but doing a tattoo is a bit extreme....
maripon 2
Run. Run like the wind.