Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Yousuck24 21
I would of laughed too...
gabbiechaoss 5
If she does, you can forget about doing it doggystyle. Instant mood killer.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
perdix 31
That would be silly, but for some reason, I think getting the NCAA Basketball brackets would be a great idea. For you, March Madness would be code for anal.
sknabc123 8
Are you dating a 5 year old?
SiriusBlack97 17
KILL IT WITH FIRE
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sounds like it could just as easily be a Picture of Justin Bieber. Consider yourself lucky.
MuseFan1991 14
i HATE people who can't see books as what they are- fiction! i'll happily admit i like reading twilight and 50 shades, but i can acknowledge the people in there aren't real and i'll never meet my edward cullen or christian grey, and nor do i want to. i'm much happier in the real world (Y)
laden_swallow09 35
You are a well-adjusted individual, which is much more than what we could say for most girls and women who say they love reading those books.
ebonyirony 29
Haha I also read them. I liked them but I didn't think they were that great. The movie version of Twilight was just awful, though.
MuseFan1991 14
why thankyou very much laden :) i'm often proud of my ability to differentiate between fiction and reality :)
fantasyworld 39
You seem like a level headed person.
IneffableLullaby 13
What a stupid idea for a tattoo. Just another moron obsessed with Twilight...
MisterMuffinz 13
Tell her to get the Black family tree instead.
j_cat187 20
But that would take up her entire back!
HaraAishi 8
I'd so do that.
canadagurl2112 3
Epic fail yet again Canada!! U can't fix stupid!!!!
boycrazy30007 12
I like twilight but that is absolutely insane. This makes my friends Deathly Hallows Tattoo seem normal though. At least you wouldn't know what that is without being a fan.
ohSNAPyall 27
You did her a huge favor, a warning of her future.