Love and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during... - FML

By TheLostCauseFML - 25/10/2017 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML

agreeclassic 5 034

vote type 1 1 006

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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

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By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

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Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

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Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

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By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

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By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

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Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

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By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

Comments

cmchappy 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:09

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

moonlight77 28

Thursday 26 October 2017 1:15

Idk about you... but I don’t know too much people who want to marry Trump..

DavyJoe 13

Thursday 26 October 2017 4:44

No, divorce him...immediately

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

merican_redneck4 11

Tuesday 22 January 2019 0:35

You do realize he isn’t Bernie Sanders right

Stiggy626 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:36

yeah he's every girl's fantasy forreal

Donut_Wizard 23

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:58

Does he at least remember your name?

Jurbla 14

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:02

Because if there's one thing that definitely needed more politics, it's absolutely nothing. However, if there was something AFTER absolutely nothing that politics should be added to, it would DEFINITELY be sex.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:55

Did you get to pee on him?

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 25 October 2017 8:21

Nothing dries up pussy faster than false promises.

Selene1090 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:19

God, that would make me so dry...

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:42

Why on earth would he think that was sexy?

Friesian 7

Thursday 26 October 2017 23:11

I don’t think he was trying to be sexy. He was trying to be funny.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Top

Today, after my ex broke up with me, I threw out all the clothes he’d bought me before, which was basically my entire wardrobe. Anyway, this creepy guy who lives a few blocks away seems to be wearing my old clothes and waves my bras and panties at me. It’s gross and creepy. FML

agreeclassic 1 787

vote type 1 1 307

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

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Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

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Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

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Today, my mom’s boyfriend insists that I can’t break anything by hooking up my new stove wrong, so I should just try until it works. Some trial and error and one electrician’s visit later, I now have a correctly hooked up stove which is now half broken. FML

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Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

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