Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
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Top comments
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?
Ashamed_Sister 60
Did he grab you by your pussy?
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Comments (24)
cmchappy 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Marry him
moonlight77 28
Idk about you... but I don’t know too much people who want to marry Trump..
DavyJoe 13
No, divorce him...immediately
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?
merican_redneck4 11
You do realize he isn’t Bernie Sanders right
Stiggy626 25
yeah he's every girl's fantasy forreal
Donut_Wizard 23
Does he at least remember your name?
Jurbla 14
Because if there's one thing that definitely needed more politics, it's absolutely nothing. However, if there was something AFTER absolutely nothing that politics should be added to, it would DEFINITELY be sex.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Did he grab you by your pussy?
RichardPencil 32
Did you get to pee on him?
Lobby_Bee 18
Nothing dries up pussy faster than false promises.
Selene1090 26
God, that would make me so dry...
Glowworm56 27
Why on earth would he think that was sexy?
Friesian 7
I don’t think he was trying to be sexy. He was trying to be funny.