Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
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Top comments
Yousuck24 21
I would of laughed too...
gabbiechaoss 5
If she does, you can forget about doing it doggystyle. Instant mood killer.
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Comments (144)
LaBooskie 1
Gilbert Gottfried's voice.... Your girlfriend is a moron. You know what a moron is...Its your girlfriend!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
As you should have!
trueblue170 13
RUN. RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.
Abracadavre_fml 9
Leave. Leave her as fast as you can.
Shrike 24
A Star Trek version of the same thing would be just as stupid. And "bitch fit" isn't sexist, you idiot. You sound like you just have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to men, and that IS sexist.
Rodville 28
Dude....RUN!!!!
kazumaeri 4
...dude you should be like only if i can get Bella's face tatted on my hand xD
bryan788 29
Sounds like your girlfriend fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on her way down.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Everyone saying OP should run is obviously saying it just because the girl likes Twilight. If she'd said she wanted to tattoo Harry Potter-related stuff on her back, everyone would say she was awesome. News flash, just because she likes Twilight doesn't make her a freak. Now granted, some people take it too far, and I agree that her wanting a Cullen family tree on her back is odd and one of the acts that make all Twilight fans look bad, but if OP can't respect and accept that his girlfriend likes the series, he should leave, but for her sake, not his. Of course, I don't condone her having a "bitch fit" over such an asinine desire as getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back...and now the cycle repeats. Bottom line - Twilight is a great series, loved by many, and no one should be ridiculed just for liking it.
C0N71NG3NCY 6
Nah, if she wanted Harry Potter stuff on her that would be pretty nuts as well. Twilight just sucks. It's like those freakish women who name their kids "Bella".
ShyAnn29 15
Not everyone who likes Twilight is a freak, I agree that some people take it way to far, but it's not right to judge her for what books/movies she likes.
FarscapeSDC 9
People who want to do stupid things like that deserve to get laughed at. If my girlfriend had told me that (If I had a girlfriend) I probably would have assumed she was kidding and laughed too.