Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
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Top comments
BrookieAnn 19
That's going to be an awkward one to explain to her next boyfriend....run forest run!
mbusey 20
Good thing you can still break up with her.
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Comments (156)
BrookieAnn 19
That's going to be an awkward one to explain to her next boyfriend....run forest run!
Roskosity 22
Psycho... Go through with the break up.
lilhellian 27
Have'nt we had enough FML's tp prove even family isn't always there?
firefighter925 18
Damn... what was she thinking.
OhDearBetrayal 25
33- No matter what your family does you'll still have a blood bond.
Inciter 33
Tattooing your significant other's name on you is always a bad idea. You can still break up with her, you know. She'll just feel like a dumbass for having her ex's name on her chest. It's not your problem, it's hers.
lilhellian 27
50 Just because you are blood related doesn't mean you can't be disowned, excommunicated or anything else like that...
ohgeejosee 19
I agree #11, especially in such a visible place!
twaumat 28
35. she wasn't, she's psycho!
liv_graham 7
im surprised that no one pointed out #1's misspelling of Forrest
WoWurCooL127 5
I knew God created texting for a reason
kyle_27 6
Life is like a box a chocolates ya never know what your gunna get...i guess this box really screwed him over haha
Daiyuki 5
I guess I'm the only one that finds this FML sweet and kind of hot?
xx000o 27
#97 She probably used the OED version
misskorrix 4
Ha don't get family tattooed either because they arnt always there for you an example my sister !!!!!
flaca273 7
Just because there is a blood bond doesn't make them family I consider the people who actually took care of me as family rather than the blood family who treated me like shit
mbusey 20
Good thing you can still break up with her.
LightningCactus 12
I'm surprised he made it out of the house. +100 to Endurance.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Courage required to complete break-up: over 9000.
Success4444 12
At least she'll have something to remember you by!
groovycrazyjoe 18
If I were you I will tell her I'm gay seems like she one of those I can't live with out you type people
rocker_chick105 31
89- although I don't really like your comment, I will thank you for properly using the subjunctive.
xx000o 27
#89 She's
DDCA 24
Did the name happen to read "Screwed"?
Welshite 40
No. It read "guess I'm stuck".
PuggieKid 22
Omg.. overly attached girlfriend.. she's back.. D:
grumpybr 13
One more reason to break up with her. This one is coo coo.
parduezs 6
Run bro!
carry_on 19
Good luck getting rid of her now...
HowieDoIt 21
Show her something, too... the door.
s0m3guy2010 21
OP's door is probably a fine piece of carpentry, but what is he going to do about his psycho girlfriend?
HowieDoIt 21
He's going to hit her with the door.
s0m3guy2010 21
OP is trying to break up with his girlfriend, not break up his door.
HowieDoIt 21
In this case, sacrifices must be made.
s0m3guy2010 21
I always knew that this would happen. I'll put on the Druid outfit and retrieve the appropriate number of maidens for this.
Jakespeed207 4
OP: " Knock knock!" Psycho girl: " Who's there?" OP: * SLAM* " THE DOOR!"
abhi95 31
Tell her, "Baby there are many guys who share the same name as mine... It's fine". That's your best bet
stevothedevo 25
Then she'd have to specifically look for another guy with Ops name, to justify that response.
spaboolly 26
That should make it easier... not harder.
evilplatypus 39
I agree. That alone would have been breakup incentive for me.
stevothedevo 25
Easier? Now she would be a fuckload more physco if he broke it off..
BlueFlatts 20
Nah, now you just got to find another psycho with the same name as yourself. Although 2 psycho's together does sound pretty scary.
EvilUndead 9
85, Scary? No. Hilarious? Yes.
poodle_juice 17
Run, run as fast as you can.
HorrorFan13 2
Dont catch me im the gingerbread man!
Ali_Br_fml 33
You're a monster!!! No, I'm not the monster here, YOU are!!!
limitedition 25
At least it's not her name on your chest.
RedPillSucks 33
Wait till he wakes up the next morning with a numbing pain on his chest and a ring superglued on his finger.