Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML
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Top comments
Yousuck24 21
I would of laughed too...
gabbiechaoss 5
If she does, you can forget about doing it doggystyle. Instant mood killer.
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Comments (144)
alexhaz64 4
While the idea deserves all the ridicule you can throw at it, she is your girlfriend. It might've been a bit harsh to laugh in her face. I'm sure there's a gentler way to show your distaste.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Maybe he thought she was telling a joke.
jsolis1982 6
No, an idea that retarded deserves all the ridicule we as a species can muster!!!
buttonsfandango 3
Yes, like laugh harder!
HeyArnold91 8
Is it sad I had to Google the Cullen family to understand this FML?
jerrylee123 8
#17 No, that's not sad at all. Protect your innocence, for the love of God!!!
annie_nk 23
Absolutely not sad at all! The less you know, the better.
dunker_fml 4
Reading your comment gives me hope! Thank you for NOT knowing.
ShyAnn29 15
Twilight isn't that bad!
HeyArnold91 8
I've never seen Twilight, when I saw Cullen family my first guess was a lame reality show, like the Kardashians...
laden_swallow09 35
31- Heh. You're not that far off, actually.
rotflqtms_ 21
Except that it's nothing like a reality show, just a 15-year-old girl's lame fantasy... & I'm glad I know nothing about the Kardashians... Except that they're rich and have a tv show... I'm not even sure I got the spelling of their last name right, but I don't care enough to check...
Kn0wledge123 21
There is hope for humanity yet.
SamanthaCassieL 10
Hahaha oh my god yes! Thank you for not knowing!! This "movie" is so stupid! It's about how important it is to have a boyfriend in your life constantly. By the way that's not true... I love my boyfriend but I am still independent and take care of myself- which most girls should learn to do before you start dating.. Just sayin..
junkman6 22
I too had to google "Cullen family tree." *shudders* I have to say if she gets It it's time to think about a new less creepy girlfriend.
jasmine1259 2
The kardasians really aren't that bad. I think people who have never seen the show just assume they're morons. Kind of like how everyone is hating on twilight without ever reading it. I'm not saying it's a great book, but at least read something before criticizing it.
ShyAnn29 15
I don't know why I got thumbed down, I just meant that there are worse things than twilight.
kittytub 12
81- I read it. nothing special. the one thing I still remember is that the entire second book, when little bitch boy leaves her, is that she is so depressed. the whole book was literally a word barf. I didn't understand anything going on and all I could gather was that she was sad. ._.
ShyAnn29 15
Why am I getting thumbed down?
Alyma13 5
Because unfortunately, the book is awful. I can't think of a single good thing about it. And yes, before anyone asks, I did read it. I enjoy well-written fantasies with complex characters and thought out plots, not run-on sentences and an obvious self-insertion fanfic. I wrote better than that when I was 13.
ShyAnn29 15
119, that's no reason to thumb me down, we all like or dislike different things, just because someone may like Twilight doesn't mean they're stupid or weird!
MuseFan1991 14
127- id quit while i was ahead if i were you
Evaloscity 6
127- You're getting thumbed down because you showed support towards Twilight. You will forever get thumbed down. Think before you speak. Nothing is worse than Twilight, movie wise.
ShyAnn29 15
137, that's a very stupid reason, I didn't say it was the best thing ever, I just said it wasn't that bad.
dessicakez 7
Wow. That really is a stupid idea lol I'd laugh too
AnanaSoof 11
Move out!! Gogogogo
SApprentice 34
Look on the bright side, because if she goes through with it, she'll probably never get a chance to cheat on you- it's such an instant turn off.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Oh god... ._. Run, dude.
fyl7899 12
17-- No it isn't sad. The less you know about crappy Twilight the better!
HeyArnold91 8
I don't feel bad for not knowing anymore.
Vidrill 22
I don't think you should laugh at her, but rather ask her to reconsider this, she will certainly regret it once the whole "Twilight mania" is over. You never mentioned her age, but I presume she is really young.... Once she grows up a little she will realise how meaningless and permanent this tattoo really is.
miss_sqwert 19
Ydi for dating a nut
sillyyanks 24
Damn Nature! You SCARY!