Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
msamberjade 27
Just because he lasts long doesn't mean he's good. There's such a thing as long, boring sex.
Entovarian 4
Not sure if more concerned about the sex, or the popcorn...
pptm 13
Make mad Already
cece23_fml 10
Sounds like she had an insatiable desire - for popcorn, that is.
Labrynthian 6
Haha which girl complains about "taking too long"? Good job man. No idea what her deal is, but if she's not into it when you guys are being intimate, you need to rethink things a bit.
itooamscrewed 10
All of us. Despite popular belief, women do not want sex for an hour. It hurts and quite frankly it gets boring, especially if we don't ****** (which we don't, not from penetration anyway). 20-30 minutes is the max for most women.
limabeans101029 21
Yep, I agree with 112. I can go for about 40 minutes and then it starts to get tiring and a bit boring.
PerditaDessa 38
Not all of us. Some of us are penetration not stimulation and sex for an hour is great. You can also switch it up so the whole session is not penetration. Typically, everyone involved has a mouth they can put to use.
petata_ 5
She's just getting ready for a while ride. Popcorn is only for worthy entertainment ;)
Klima_fml 29
Popcorn isn't that good anyways. ;)
josiemorehouse 12
The question here is: how long was 'too long' for the GF? Sex is great, but there are times where it just seems like it goes on and on. Regardless of whether or not we're having orgasms, if it's 45 mins of banging, it doesn't matter how many times we ****** or change positions, it gets boring and painful. If my hubby takes too long, I'll stop him and finish off with a BJ or hand job. I'm not going to be sitting at work in pain or walking bow-legged. But, if the GF got impatient after like 5-10 mins, that qualifies her as a super selfish bitch. OP, this all depends on the context. Do you take any meds? SSRIs (Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Paxil, etc) that are used for depression and anxiety cause guys to not be able to ******. Maybe look in to any meds you take. And if she's not doing her part to entertain or distract you enough for you to enjoy sex and ******, talk to her about it, or dump her. Good luck OP!!
gogators941 11
Well apparently you don't finish first
lovekool4 2
****** gay lyin lookin mufucka