Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Get on with it
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Stop begging
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Bored
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Foreplay
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Popped
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Honest
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Fast and Furious
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Romance is dead
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
SweetasCandy0609 28
wow #18 then it seems to me you just don't know how to keep it interesting in bed most people complain their man goes to quick I normally don't hear about them complaining that they are taking their time and trying to please you, you are just all back wards..... then again trying it backwards might help you stay inerested.
ptoka 20
No kidding, I've never met a girl that got upset that it was too long. Is it that you aren't orgasming as it goes on? I'm intrigued by all this.
gracehi 33
I can't get off from sex, so sometimes if my partner takes too long, it does get a little boring and perhaps even painful. But that's very rare that that happens, and I'd never just get up and say he was taking too long before he was done. I have said, "Um, I'm sorry, but I'm starting to get sore," but never just, "you're taking too long and I'm hungry."
Awesome58422599 19
#49 I have to say, it REALLY sucks to be you.
gracehi 33
Yes. :(
marcranger 29
I generally get off during foreplay. Anything after that is beyond boring to me. My mind wanders too much after I'm finished. Honestly, I prefer mutual masturbation (or, if I'm being perfectly honest, solo masturbation...I don't care much for relationships any more).
littleteapot 21
Only about 30% of women can get of from penetration alone. A lot will fake it because they're embarrassed. My motto is "Don't be a little shit, rub that clit!"
shudson186 17
You aren't alone #49! I am the same way sadly. No matter what I can not get off when having sex with a partner. It can get painful as well sometimes when I go for too long, but never have I been rude in that way.
TwiztedYuri 9
18 if you're getting bored... either he doesn't know what he's doing or he's just too small. In sex both parties should have an ******. You lucky ladies get to have more then one.
itooamscrewed 10
Exactly. We both know I'm not gonna get off so why are you taking longer than half an hour? I'm sore, I'm hungry, just finish up already!
GentlemanBastard 15
This comment thread makes me sad for all of you who have bad sex. I have a newfound appreciation for my sex life. You know how much it would hurt my pride if I couldn't get my wife off? Maybe that was his problem. He starts thinking about his inadequacy and he can't get off either. Most of it is mental, after all.
gemstone586 12
It's actually very common that women can't ****** during intercourse. maybe more common than women who can. I would still never do this, tho.
amisenho 11
I second #49's comment. It can take a while, especially if your partner has already had an ****** at least once within the same day. From experience, men take a little longer after the first ******, so if I'm going for longer than, say, 30 minutes, it starts to wear out my muscles, and I start focusing more on the pain than the pleasure. At that point, I have to let my partner know that I'm getting physically tired, and he usually understands.
TheMathMajor 26
I have an ex who would take forever in bed. I also can't ****** from penetration. Not even if there's clitoral stimulation in addition to penetration. Usually oral works or I have to do it myself. It pretty much always got to the point where it was numb or painful with my ex and then I couldn't even finish. Not pleasant with a guy who goes too long. There is an optimal middle ground, though I really don't even mind if the guy gets off really quickly because then I can just have him go down on me and we're all good :D there's too much pressure on guys to last long I think, I guess it just depends on the girl's preference and how she gets off.
LisaDay 14
i love penetration sex. i cant get off on clitorial stimulation though. i guess im the odd one out. penetration does it for me. other stimulation, nope.
HylianTwilight 21
I'm with 134.... I can't even handle any touch on my clit (I'm extremely sensitive), besides my own. I am a squirter though, so penetration does me better than oral, fingering, or even any sort of foreplay. lol. It makes me sad.
TheMathMajor 26
Every vulva is different :) I also wish that I could get off from penetration. On the plus side, though, I'm currently dating someone who is veeeery good at oral.
Mandybruin 15
I appreciate this thread. I thought I was the only one that took forever to climax, which made me sad. ): Thank you, FML community! :)
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Sometimes a boy just can't focus and yeah, such things as ******** can actually take longer than you'd like them to be.
Makaze 12
There is a point for my wife where I'm 'taking too long' because she can't take anymore O's.
xxrogerthatxx 19
@ 12; or maybe you just aren't doing it right.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#23 o couldn't agree me if it takes you more than 5 minutes to get the guy off by doing a ******** you need to try something new just saying
garrett_8614 14
That's not necessarily true, sometimes even if the sex/******* is good, a guy just takes longer. There's no set time for a guy to ******, it just happens when it happens. Some take longer than others
PerditaDessa 38
Throwing out the possibility that she was bored because if you're mature enough to have sex you should be able to communicate. Sex can take too long. If you've found a lad who can go, get up and go again for hours you're bound to get exhausted. There's only so much a girl can take before she has to load up on carbohydrates.
gracehi 33
It can vary greatly, and taking a long time doesn't necessarily mean she's doing anything wrong. Sometimes he's just not in the right state of mind, distracted, or uncomfortable for some unrelated reason. For example, if he needs to use the bathroom he might not be able yup get off no matter what she does until after he relieves himself.
JPManiac 7
I have to agree completely #50, I can't finish up when I have to use the restroom or when my mind is distracted by other things (such as hunger or thirst). Literally impossible.
xxrogerthatxx 19
I think you guys (the people who can't finish because they're hungry) need to get in touch with your mind.
gracehi 33
Their "minds," huh? Is that what they're calling it these days? ;)
ItsAUnicorn 27
#50, what you just said is exactly what I meant. Sex is indeed all about communication. I believe that when you don't want to talk about it, then you aren't ready to have sex too. Time isn't related to the quality of the pleasure. I've known some guys who have strong distraction problems, even while receiving oral. They start thinking about all different kinds of stuff and can't focus. oh and #12, that's certainly not the problem ;)
BoobsAreGreat02 2
That's not true at all. Unless you're the BJ expert 5 min is super fast
jkmhawk 2
never had an ****** from oral
bethrocksya 9
******** only take too long if you don't know how to do it right ;)
cnbcad 15
It depends f you're doing it right. I have been asked to "hurry up I'm sore tho"
Aadavis94 25
As a guy I can say that a ******** never takes too long. The longer the better.
liechland 8
That not usually a problem, so spice up the sex life OP
gramirez23 9
Eat popcorn off each other
maximus_prime 24
First you have to pop your own cob, then make your own popcorn, how sad.
itooamscrewed 10
It is usually a problem, except most women don't say anything. We just wait for you to finish.
VDubGolf 13
What’s OP?
Cheezits4dayz 14
She's cheating on you with the popcorn.
schhichick 14
Microwave popcorn can actually cause cancer in the long run because of what the companies line the inside of the bags with
PoisonOrchid 21
I'm pretty sure everything can be proven to cause cancer in the long run.
FracturedMinds 21
In 100% of the cases of cancer the person was known to have ingested water shortly before finding out. Tidbit for the day.
tiger8255 13
Not quite 100%. Please define shortly. :)
GentlemanBastard 15
#72, where does that info come from? Facebook? I also saw a (fake) story about the wax they use in ramen noodles causing cancer.
schhichick 14
Hah no. Actually I read about it in an article after a scientific study was done.
shelbystang 2
why wouldnt she want you to last longer instead of shorter?
shelbystang 2
I just meant girls usually have the exact opposit issue with guys finishing times
vikky538 29
some girls don't like it longer..
LisaDay 14
shes either bored (ste up your game OP!) or possibly sore from him taking too long. the motion of him thrusting into her will start to hurt after a short while if she cant stay lubricated. also, depending on the size of her ****** and the size of his penis, he may be hitting her cervix which will get sore if he is hitting it repeatedly.
TheMathMajor 26
Pain from going too long is common and a lot of women can't get off from penetration so that can make it kind of boring after a while and you start to get numb. Doesn't necessarily have to do with the guys "performance".
sayyestothedress 24
What's wrong with popcorn?!?!?
slyde32 12
op wasn't allowed any, that's what
sayyestothedress 24
The first time I saw your pic, I thought it was an eye
REALAfroninga 11
Teach me the ways of your endurance.
Clioo_fml 17
Get a girlfriend who's boring in bed #9
Sir_Derp 7
********** enough for thy penis to become effing sore. Works for me
alex_622 22
You've been replaced...with popcorn
thatsawkward7 18
Might have been trying to brush of the fact that his GF was more interested in popcorn than sex with him.