Today, I got basically raided by Child Welfare on very true reports I left a 4 month-old boy home alone with just water. The boy in question is my dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are in trouble because they left me home alone for almost two weeks (I'm 16) and my Karen neighbor found out and called social services. FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML
Today, I’ve been getting death threats after a former friend did a storytime online about me getting rid of my dog after having a baby. She completely left out I had no choice but to rehome my dog because my baby is deathly allergic and had to be hospitalized for breathing problems from the dog. FML
Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML
Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML
Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. It seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "Welcome to the neighborhood!" about these parts. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Maybe someone heard you talk about “Yeah, I need to feed [Dog’s name] when I get home” and drew the wrong conclusion? Which while it sucks for you in the moment, at least you can be secure knowing that if a real human child is being abused there *will* be a report.
sleepymom1234 7
if you don't like the comments, don't post.
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Comments (2)
Anderling 33
Maybe someone heard you talk about “Yeah, I need to feed [Dog’s name] when I get home” and drew the wrong conclusion? Which while it sucks for you in the moment, at least you can be secure knowing that if a real human child is being abused there *will* be a report.
RichardPencil 32
That's what you people who call your pets "fur babies" get! Pretending your animals are children has a downside as well.
lukey101 26
Ah old RichardPencil pipes up again. I don’t call him a furbaby, someone obviously just overheard my concern about leaving him home at 4 months. Don’t break your neck falling off your high horse. Or do lol. Whatever works for you
sleepymom1234 7
if you don't like the comments, don't post.