Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
jeriaslovesyou 16
It can never be too long!
animalxcrackers 20
Oh, trust me. It can.
itooamscrewed 10
Yes, it can
captainsmegma 12
Something tells me that she got her muffin buttered earlier. She was having guilt sex with you.
ThepurpleCow 19
Popcorn must have better sex appeal then you. Grab yourself a bag and pop it like Viagra!
jefrey 9
how long is to long for her? because normally I Iast 45 min and my girlfriend complaints that it's not long enough...
amisenho 11
What exactly is she complaining about that's "not long enough"?
lichking7634 3
Wow man. That is so rude. I can't believe what this world has come to. A man can't get a damn bowl of popcorn after unsuccessful sex...
thundermoo 16
This could go either way. OP is so bad in bed his gf couldn't take it anymore or the gf is so bad it takes OP foreverrrr to get off. In either event, there is clearly a problem. Communicate with each other if you want a solution.
shanannygians07 28
Getting up to pee in the middle of sex is one thing, but popcorn is just way better. Lmao
2i1337i2iscore 13
Its funny how sad of a sex life you must have lol
drmisin 5
sorry even bad sex is better than popcorn.
ostfaiz 18
no pop corns for U 'late-Cummer' ;)
lyn87 7
Rude....