Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
bdizzle7 1
That's a harsh way to find out you are slacking in that dept. Do some experimenting, put in more effort, and prove her wrong!
liza1922 7
taking too long isn't a problem, if your good, you oddveiously are not
EpicCrazyBitch 12
You OBVIOUSLY are illiterate.
ososmiley12 4
Really people? Most girls prefer a guy that can last long hell if she got up to get popcorn that just means she only cared about herself
sest 4
Time to pick up cosmo and try some new tricks.
Aenterial 11
Ouch. Never heard of that problem before, too.
cnbcad 15
Why is this his fault. In my youth I ran into the same problem a couple times. I know it wasn't me because a huge majority of other girls told me so. If she became dry and painful that's not nessassarily a technique issue.
EpicCrazyBitch 12
OP, your response to her was badass and a turn on actually. Ditch her, I'll take you! Lol
worldclassrager 41
Practice makes perfect...
Lollerskates 13
Just think about this, is that how you want your sex life to be forever? Popcorn is more important?