Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
xx_alexmagm_xx 12
So are you sad about your girlfriend saying that it took too long or the popcorn?
sexual_girl 15
I just... I don't understand. Unless it had been going on for like, an hour, why would she possibly complain about you lasting too long?
noah_1234 24
mabye it was he didnt say
TogeBara 12
Ok girls, time to set you straight...again. If you don't tell the guy how to please you, he can't please you. If you aren't going to communicate with your boyfriend there is no point in having one. Men are not mind readers by any means, how do you expect them to know how to keep it interesting if they don't know what you want from them? Talk to your gf op, see what you can do to improve, and if she wont tell you, move on and find someone who will. Communication is key in any relationship, even about sex.
LittleRed79 39
While I absolutely agree with you about communication 33, I actually dated a guy who took too long in bed. He didn't want to mix things up, wasn't open to talking about it, and only wanted straight vanilla missionary sex...that went on for about 2 hours. And even then sometimes he never got off. That ultimately ended the relationship because I needed more variety from him and he wasn't willing to compromise. Goes both ways sometimes.
PoisonOrchid 21
I absolutely agree with everything you said, 33, but guys have this problem just as much as girls. People in general need to learn to communicate and open up in relationships, especially about bedroom affairs. I've been with men who wouldn't tell me what they wanted and we couldn't connect well and one or both of us had a hard time getting off because of it.
LisaDay 14
shes either bored (ste up your game OP!) or possibly sore from him taking too long. the motion of him thrusting into her will start to hurt after a short while if she cant stay lubricated. also, depending on the size of her ****** and the size of his penis, he may be hitting her cervix which will get sore if he is hitting it repeatedly.
itooamscrewed 10
She told him exactly what she wanted. He was taking too long and she told him. And telling your partner what you want isn't helpful if they don't listen or it doesn't work. Who wants to sleep with someone who is just constantly telling you what to do like it's an instructional video?
GentlemanBastard 15
Why be with someone who doesn't listen? If you can't communicate on any level, I would think the sex would be one of an assortment of problems in the relationship. Also, the way OP's girlfriend handled it was insensitive and kinda messed up.
worldclassrager 41
You should have asked to help...keep the mood going at least...
Khaleesi_26 30
Must be backwards day,
SweetasCandy0609 28
maybe try some new moves to keep her inerested then she'll be begging you to go longer.
EvilLittleMan 23
Dude... You got pwned by Jiffy Pop.
buckdharma 38
Learn how to pop in a jiffy, or you get no Jiffy Pop.
noah_1234 24
i always heard about girls complaining about how guys ****** too fast, mabye she wants that
bahamit 18
Learn her body que's op... If you didn't give her any o's in that time then YDI, if you did, learn to read when she's satisfied then let (or make) yourself finish so you can both be happy satisfied and have great popcorn
limabeans101029 21
If she didn't have any orgasms, OP didn't necessarily deserve it. Different women like different things, and it's possible that she just isn't communicating properly and telling him what gets her off. If that's the case, how is he supposed to give her an ******? Also, not many women can have orgasms just by having sex.
bahamit 18
It is true that many women don't ****** from just the sex hence why I said he needs to learn her cues. Unless she was faking pleasure and he's young and oblivious then he deserved it. It's really just a fine line and communication is the key, that and foreplay, jump right to the sex and nothing good will come of it. You gotta be in sync and obviously they weren't so perhaps they both deserve it or sucks to be both of them... Personally I last "too long" for my wife but with communication we found ways to deal with that problem. All in all it still boils down to communication.