Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, thinking maybe she could spare 5 minutes of her time and requires no work at all, I asked my wife for a handjob. She said no and told me I can “do it yourself.” FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
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Top comments
_Heisenberg__ 15
you kinda set yourself up for that one
xwingtwo 15
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.
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Comments (138)
weveallbeenthere 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
go find a girlfriend.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
yeah because cheating is the mature response to this situation
weveallbeenthere 30
and living in a relationship where you're begging for sex or not getting sex at all is a healthy thing to do
Nickb55 16
Come on dude...
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
The healthy thing to do is to try and find a solution to the problem, and there is really none, then give up on the relationship and part from each other. If you run off and cheat instead of trying to work things out everytime you hit a bump on the road, you shouldn't be in a relationship.
patrickalamo 48
Let her know she just exercised first right of refusal and you are about to accept another offer.
doctorhook86 25
OP's name kinda suggests he likes to be humiliated by his wife, so go figure.
GunSlinger69 19
#1, Thanks for being the one smart person on this thread. People are saying ''Talk with her'' and ''Try some other time'' but that will not do anything. When women withhold sex, that's emotional abuse in my opinion. Unless it's strictly an non sexual relationship, a lack of intimacy is very unhealthy.
mfmylifesrsly 30
@56 emotional abuse? really? clearly you don't know what emotional abuse is, as I've been through it. And if a woman (or man) doesn't want to have sex, the other person should not throw a fit, because then if the other person gives in, technically the sex is unwanted. OP, I suggest talking to your wife or going to couples counseling. Also, if the sole reason she won't have sex with you is because you don't last long, try to do lots of foreplay, get her off before you. Also doing exercises to last longer works too.
badgercheese94 16
Still does not excuse or justify cheating.
photographer49 22
#1 Or he can actually make sex enjoyable for her too. She doesn't want to have sex because she isn't enjoying it like he is, which is kind of unfair. That's on OP, he deserves this. If he was good in bed he wouldn't have to beg for it.
CooperRage 13
Her response could very well be just a good wisecrack by her and not meant to be taken seriously. The FML does not state whether they are having problems or that the OP is hurt by her response or not having sex with him.
Jinxsie 27
Having sex isn't mandatory in a relationship. She doesn't have to say "yes" just because he wants it. Vice versa. And you say it isn't healthy to be in a relationship if there's no sex or if there's a refusal but going out to find a girlfriend when you're still married(unless it's an open marriage) isn't a healthy thing to do either.
doctorhook86 25
I think this thread is full of people who either didn't read the OP's name or who have no idea what a cuckhold fetish is.
withered 30
I know people who bitch about lack of sleep. Most of the time it's because their partners see the sex as waste of time (which it is) because it is so bad. They are usually selfish and only care to satisfy themselves and/or are really bad and put no effort into getting better even after their partner tries to talk about it. So no wonder they get no sex.
withered 30
Lack of sex. Sorry.
_Heisenberg__ 15
you kinda set yourself up for that one
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Everyone has dry spells but if it's a recurring situation, you two should talk about it. Sex is an important part of a relationship and if you are now in the situation where you have to beg for it, clearly there is a problem.
maximus_prime 24
Sounds like OP's wife has introduced the Canine theory to their bedroom activities. OP sits up and begs while the wife rolls over and plays dead :-/
feelingold 18
This is very normal. Find a way to take a vacation. Without kids (if you have them). Even if it's just a weekend. Sometimes you need space and quiet to rekindle.
weveallbeenthere 30
a vacation won't solve an issue like that.
russfml 31
I sure hope you're wrong about that lol
sylverdrag_fml 9
His wife doesn't respect him and he is begging for something she should want as much as he does... no week-end vacation is going to fix this.
feelingold 18
Sounds like she's busy and stressed. He might fancy some quick satisfaction but clearly that won't give her pleasure.. But it's all very normal, really. They need a time-out away from day-to-day routine to work out if there's a big "issue" here or not. And #5 etc I've been married nearly ten years, feel free to share your background on this...
ligerzero459 24
No, if he had to beg her for sex, this is an ongoing thing, not being busy or stressed out. Quit making excuses for her. OP, walk away. I'm sure you've already tried to talk to her and it hasn't done a thing. She doesn't respect you in the slightest. Walk away, lift for a while, get some confidence and then find someone else to spend your life with. You don't need to deal with that for the rest of your life
FieldLeftBlank 20
FYL if you have to actually beg for sex.
catanita 18
Ouch!!!
xwingtwo 15
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.
lurker_no_more 13
As opposed to taking it without permission? Umm, sex should always be with permission.. Implicit or not.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Yeaaah, what lurker said. Sex should always be with the permission of another. Otherwise, well... You should be able to piece that together.
siggy_mcsigx 22
...said every rapist ever
laden_swallow09 35
"Pleasures" and sex are not mutually exclusive, y'know.
im_a_black_guy 10
Wecome to marriage lol
lurker_no_more 13
Maybe the fact that you beg for sex is part of the problem.. That is a turnoff for most people I think. Ofc I don't know the circumstances surrounding your sex life so FYL all the same.
russfml 31
He's married I'd assume they're passed that possible "desperate" stage. It sounds like his wife is a $&@& that won't ever put out
MrsPegg 45
31: I can back up 11's statement. I'm married & love to get down and dirty, but when my husband is too pushy or begging for sex, it annoys the hell out of me and is a huge turnoff. Sex has to happen naturally and without planning. If it's expected/scheduled/begged for, it makes it very boring.
Mauskau 36
I'd rather a guy did something to get me into the mood than said "i want to have sex, can we have sex now? please?".
garrett_8614 14
I'm sure he didn't say that word for word. The way he said "begged my wife to have sex for once" keywords being "for once" kind of shows that this has been going on for a while.
Devindelon 17
Go **********
melbournearsenal 18
That's everyone's answer to everything
pjsr 33
Ahhhh, the teenage boy's response to all situations! I'm not criticizing - I remember it fondly.
mistress_paz 30
Damn, that's cold!