Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
Goblin182 27
Bacon. Bacon is better than sex.
NightHawk387 22
#124: (1) Either you've never had good sex, or (2) You've got to tell me where you're getting your bacon.
BoobsAreGreat02 2
False
Omniprism 15
Go to the sex toy store and get some sensitizing lube.
mechaix101 2
You must really suck at sex
EpicCrazyBitch 12
At least he doesn't swallow
BDA_fml 5
So you had to take matters into your own hands.
thevelociraptor 31
I guess OP just wasn't that good at popping her cherry.
deepdownunder 3
Viagra is killin it for u brotha!! keep ur boners short and hard ! YDI
donutcallmethat 16
I clicked "YDI" by accident. Sorry.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
What a twist! Well, I saw a movie once where the woman didn't want it anymore, so she stuck ice cubes on the guy's balls and that got him off almost instantly. I guess you guys could try that next time. Did she get off, though?