Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
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Top comments
mekiswrite 21
I hope you mean ex-boyfriend.
blondie45 21
You need to ditch that psychopath immediately! I would even go as far as taking out a restraining order.... anyone who thinks that kind of behaviour is appropriate is dangerous...
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Comments (14)
mekiswrite 21
I hope you mean ex-boyfriend.
RichardPencil 32
Obviously! No one wants to date a bed wetter. Surely he dumped her after her loss of bladder control.
EmDizzle2007 28
the most played-out comment on this site by far.
mfranks19891989 10
If he put it on YouTube can you post a link to the video I’d like to watch you wet yourself
blondie45 21
You need to ditch that psychopath immediately! I would even go as far as taking out a restraining order.... anyone who thinks that kind of behaviour is appropriate is dangerous...
Batman_1872 20
wow someone's a snowflake
Mungolikecandy 19
That is pretty abusive behaviour. There are jokes and then there is abuse and he has crossed a line.
cardin06 15
And it was so traumatic that you had to put it on FML? ...jus sayin.
Fickle 6
What a douche bag! Hopefully you have enough sense to move free of an asshole like that.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you're still with him, see how he likes your new chainsaw, and hockey mask.
Twinkee718 4
That's just an asshole thing to do... I say be done with him.
hannieannie 18
Hi, it’s my partner of 6 years and we’re in the middle of a prank war. Safe to say he won!
AmbrosiaFan 19
Oooh ok then! he won!
J15237 25
If he is a serious boyfriend who you have future plans with then I would find a way to get him back. If he is temporary I would consider looking for another boyfriend. I mean it is funny, but at the same time once the laugh has happened he does need to move on.