Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
What was her costume? Trampire?
welsea28 6
She probably felt guilty...either way sorry OP
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Comments (217)
jmayes414 5
Make sure the walk ends at the doorstep. You don't want to get shame on your furniture; it's hard to clean.
clairelolz 5
one word: yikes
Enslaved 38
"What do ya do when yo' bitch is untrue? You cut that hooker off and find someone new I need another bitch (another bitch), in my life"
black_nail 1
What a s*ut id leave her ass high n dry she doesnt deserve u man
windfuelsfire 10
She was at your doorstep: checkpoint reached! Next checkpoint: her own place. I really hope you two haven't been serious and been together long.. The more you invest emotionally in someone, the more it wrenches your guts when this happens.. I'm sorry OP
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Talk about taking your costume seriously. Dress like a hoe, act like a hoe. (I do know that's not necissarily true for everyone, but still)
CuriousAlien 7
I wonder what excuse she came up with. "oh no babe, I thought he was you." " it's- it's not what It looks like."
ICastillo 25
Girlfriend: It was an accident... Op: Like he tripped and you fell
bunny911 16
Lucky number slevin for the win!
threecardmonty 2
actually from an earlier Willis movie, The Last Boyscout.
habick 4
Wait! Why didn't you go with her?
DeadxManxWalking 27
Lock the door and throw her stuff out the window
AndrewB13 4
Just lock the door and throw her out the window.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Well the walk ended at his doorstep. Just lock her out and throw her stuff out the window
gracehi 33
No. OP should bring her inside, lock the door, then throw her out the window along with her things, then lock that too.
Roxas2898 4
Time to break up